


Things Will Fall Apart

by ImotoChan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Kinda follows canon, M/M, a lot of fluff and angst, dont read if it could be triggering !, i'll update the tags as the story goes on, kags is so sad someone love him, there will be a happy ending !!, theres abuse be warned!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-05-02 08:19:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5241323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImotoChan/pseuds/ImotoChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama Tobio is thirteen when he thinks he's in love.<br/>He is fourteen when he realizes love doesn't mean bruises and scratches.<br/>He is fifteen when he decides to change. </p><p>He is fifteen when he meets Hinata Shouyou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Che1seaLovesYouAll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Che1seaLovesYouAll/gifts).



> h ey!! so this is a fic for <http://che1sea-xiao-long.tumblr.com/> on tumblr!! it might be long or short who knows, and i cant make any promises abt an update schedule but i'll try my best! this is abt Kags and his abusive relationship and how he's gonna be okay now i hope u guys like it!!

Tobio Kageyama is thirteen when he thinks he is in love.

 

He tells his mom, who laughs, but then grimaces when he answers her question of who’s the lucky girl with “Kindaichi-kun”. She had pinched his cheek and ruffled his hair, saying that boys don’t like boys, and that it was all in his head.

 

Kageyama decided to hide the fact that he thought he was falling further and further, and after all, how could he not? When his mother and father yelled and shouted, when he was a failure, who could never compare to “That lovely boy Tooru” or “The son of the Iwaizumis”, who else was there to love, who else was there to love him?

 

Kindaichi tells Kageyama that he’s amazing, that his serves and sets have so much potential. Kindaichi gives Kageyama pats on the backs and small kisses on his cheeks, he tells Kageyama that he adores him, and Kageyama sucks it all in, believing that it was possible for someone to love a broken person like him.

 

But slowly, Kageyama becomes afraid. There’s love in the words that Kindaichi says to  him, Kageyama tells himself, there must be. Things like “failure” and “disgusting”, surely, when Kindaichi said them, they meant the same thing as “I love you”?

 

And when Kindaichi suddenly kisses him one day, when Kageyama tells him to stop, and when Kindaichi keeps going and going until Kageyama is crying, well, that was all because Kindaichi cared about Kageyama, right? He held him after that, apologizing, that he couldn’t help himself, that Kageyama was just so _perfect_ that he didn’t know what to do with himself. His pale skin turns light shades of purple, here and there are patches of red, and his back covered in small scratches that Kindaichi would kiss and apologize for, and that Kageyama wished he could tear off.

 

Tobio Kageyama is fourteen when he thinks that love isn’t all that people make it out to be.

 

No one suspects anything, and when Kageyama starts to become overconfident, when he starts to get aggressive and argue with those who can’t spike his sets, they all call him a dictator, a King who doesn’t care about the commoners. Kindaichi never says anything, only when they’re only does he tell Kageyama that kings are brilliant in their own ways, before biting down on his skin and leaving dark marks that Kageyama claws at, screaming silently n his own bed at night, wondering exactly where he did go wrong.

  
  


But, things were changing.

 

Kageyama Tobio is fifteen when he decides to go to Karasuno High School. He’s heard about their volleyball club, about the old coach who once took the crows to national, and he has some sort of desire to be a flightless crow; some need to learn to fly again.

 

He tells Kindaichi, who shakes his head before tightly gripping Kageyama’s arm, saying that he should have applied to his school. It used to take all of Kageyama’s energy to not break into tears when Kindaichi became like this, but he no longer _feels._ He shakes Kindaichi’s hand away, glaring the boy down.

 

“Not this time.”

 

And when Kageyama walks away, he feels his heart pounding in his chest, and he’s filled with fear, because what if Kindaichi follows him, why did he tell him the school he was going to, was he really this weak after all?

 

_No, no, no_

 

Kageyama shakes his head at the thoughts creeping up on him. He was going to start over. He was going to become better, stronger, someone who others didn’t hate, someone who was _worth something._

_Start over, start over_

 

Right that’s it, the reason he had chosen the school he had, it was to start over, wasn’t it?

 

_Karasuno_

__

He wonders what the year would bring.


	2. gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> italics are just thoughts and flashbacks !

Kageyama takes a deep breath before stepping into the gym. He's the first one there so he drops his bag at the entrance before picking up a volleyball. He lets the ball roll around in his hands, smiling down at his fingers--nails filed perfectly, fingertips rough from practice--as they trace the designs of the ball. He tosses the ball in the air and jumps, serving the ball over the net, grinning when it lands right in the corner of the court.

 

Kageyama is about to serve another ball when he hears a loud, obnoxious voice. He drops the ball, cringing at the "E EH what are you doing here?"

 

He turns his head sharply, eyes widening when he sees a somewhat familiar orange headed boy,

 

"You!! You're the King of the Court!! What are you doing here??" The boy points at him accusingly, glaring.

 

"Don't call me that," Kageyama growled, crossing his arms. "And I go to school here. I'm joining the volleyball club."

 

"You're supposed to be my rival! I'm supposed to beat you!" The short boy groans, running a hand through his messy hair.

 

"You're from the team that we beat in the first round." Kageyama states, recognizing the orange hair. He had fast reflexes, Kageyama remembers, but little ability.

 

"I'm Hinata Shouyou!!" He exclaims, puffing out his chest.

 

Kageyama turns away, picking up the ball and turning it in his hand. "I remember you."

 

"You better have!! I--"

 

"Your team was weak. It's unfortunate. I think you had potential." Kageyama tosses the ball into the air and serves it, nearly missing the flash of maroon and orange.

 

"What--"

 

"Dang it!" Hinata groans, the ball barely hitting his forearms before bouncing off to the side.

 

Kageyama blinks.

 

_how did he move so fast?_

 

"Serve again!" Hinata yells, arms out, ready to receive.

 

Kageyama stares at the boy before grabbing another ball, throwing it up and serving, letting out a tsk when it doesn't land where he planned. Hinata barely makes it to the ball on time, his fist flying out in an attempt to make contact with the ball.

 

"Again!!"

 

Kageyama serves two, three more times.

 

Hinata misses, two, three more times.

 

"Oh, I see you two have met."

 

Hinata turns his head to see a tall upperclassmen, with dark hair and tan skin. There's a pale third year next to him, with ash grey hair, and a gentle smile on his face. A slightly shorter boy is with them; bald with an intimidating scowl on his face. With them is the principal, his hair jet black and fake.

 

Kageyama serves again, not realizing the four that entered the gym. Hinata dashes for it, missing again.

 

"They don't listen." The principal states, eyeing the first years warily.

 

"Oi! You two!" The bald one growls, and Hinata turns to face him, right as Kageyama serves and it slams right in the face, before bouncing off and hitting the principal's face, knocking off his hair.

 

The principal grabs his head and frowns, "You--!"

 

Hinata gulps, bowing at a ninety degree angle,

 

"Sorry!!!"

///

 

Kageyama grimaces as Hinata once again fails to receive the ball.

 

"It's not that hard," Kageyama states, a scowl resting comfortably on his face. He couldn't believe it hadn't even been twenty four hours, and he had already messed up. And now he had to rely on this boy, and that bald second year, to make it back into the club.

 

"I'm sorry we can't all be as good as you, King!" Hinata sticks out his tongue.

 

_"King,"_

_"Please don't call me that, Kindaichi-kun." Kageyama whimpers._

_Kindaichi pinches Kageyama's cheek, "Why not?"_

_"I don't like it."_

_Kindaichi sighs, "Hmm, really? It sounds so cool. You're really cool, Kageyama-kun." His nails dig a little deeper. "It's a little obnoxious."_

_Kageyama flinches, "Kindaichi-kun--"_

_"You are a king, you know. A dictator. A terrible person, I think." Kindaichi shrugs._

_"Then why are you with me." Kageyama states, quickly regretting his words._

_"Oh, you want to break up, Kageyama-kun?" Kindaichi raises an eyebrow, his nails breaking flesh._

_"N-no." Kageyama stutters, eyes diverting to the ground._

_"I don't think you'll ever find someone else who would be willing to love a king like you." Kindaichi lets a thumb run over the blood that trails down Kageyama's cheek._

_"I'm not a king--"_

_"King Tobio, it has a nice ring." Kindaichi smiles and Kageyama hates how he's enamored by it._

_"Tobio, the King of the Court."_

_"I'm not---don't call me that---"_  

 

"Don't call me that," Kageyama mumbles, tossing the ball half heartedly.

 

Hinata catches it, staring blankly at him, "Eh? I think it's cool..." Hinata remembers that blonde jerk from earlier. Kageyama hated it when he called him king too.

 

"Don't call me that." Is all he says. He points at the ball, "Are you going to hit?"

 

"Oh, right!!" Hinata throws the ball towards Kageyama, who tosses it in the air. Hinata grins at the ball as it soars and he jumps, spiking it into the bushes.

 

"What was that for?" Kageyama asks, frowning.

 

"Sorry! You went fwah so I had to to go gwah and then the ball went pwah!!" Hinata gestures wildly as he searches through the bushes for the ball.

 

Kageyama shakes his head, /at least he can jump/.

 

Hinata appears, ball in hand, his orange hair full of leaves and dust and was that a stick-?

 

"Toss it again," Hinata grins, tossing the ball to Kageyama who grabs it.

 

"Learn how to receive first." Kageyama mutters before hitting it, sighing when Hinata fails to properly receive the ball.

 

"That one was so close, gwaah." Hinata shakes his head in frustration.

 

"Again." Kageyama says.

 

"Toss it!" Hinata pleades.

 

"I only toss to people who I think are crucial to winning." Kageyama says, before hitting the ball to Hinata.

 

Hinata frowns but complies, focusing on hitting the ball into the air whenever Kageyama throws it to him. They go for another hour, only stopping when Hinata's mom calls him, frantically asking where he was.

 

They walk home in the same direction, Hinata talking animatedly as he walks with his bike besides Kageyama. Kageyama is awed at Hinata's ability to talk about absolutely nothing with a stranger.

 

When they part ways, Hinata sticks out his pinky, "It's a promise!"

 

Kageyama just tilts his head to the side, "For what?"

 

"I'm going to beat you!! You're my rival!" Hinata huffs.

 

"We're on the same team, stupid." Kageyama states.

 

"So?! I'm going to show you! I'm going to get even stronger!" Hinata points a thumb at himself. "I'll prove you wrong! I'll make you toss to me!!" Kageyama stares at him blankly, and Hinata's cheeks turn pink, "What are you looking at?"

 

Kageyama takes Hinata's pinky in his, "Weird", he murmurs under his breath.

 

Hinata huffs, hopping on his bike, yelling "It's a promise!!" as he pedals away.

  
Kageyama stares at his pinky, and although he doubts that Hinata will be able to keep that promise, something in him hopes he'll be able to surpass his expectations. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! (also dont expect regular updates like this eeehee im taking my SAT next weekend and school is a mess thank u for understanding )


	3. you still hurt me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karasuno has a pratice match with Aobajousai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess whos back
> 
> back again
> 
> sorry this is late orz i finally found the time to just sit down and crank out the chapter. it was mostly written just some things i had to fix. this is probably the last chapter that will follow the canon timeline, since from here on out it'll mostly be kageyama and hinata interacting!! i hope u like this chapter!!

“Aobajousai?” Hinata makes a face when Daichi says the team’s name, “Who are they?”

 

Tanaka hands Hinata the magazine, frowning, “One of the best high schools in the Miyagi Prefecture.”

 

“Oikawa Tooru?” Hinata stares at the man with wavy brunette hair and large hazel eyes. _Wow he’s so pretty_. “He’s the best setter in Japan??”

 

“That’s just an exaggeration,” Sugawara chuckles at the amazed look on Hinata’s face. “But he is very skilled. I couldn’t compare to him, and he may be even better than our genius setter.” Sugawara smiles at Kageyama, who turns a light shade of pink at the compliment.

 

“We have a practice match against them?” Hinata asks, excited.

 

Daichi nods, “Yeah. But it’s not just Oikawa we have to look out for, they’ve got some new first years too. I think they went to the same junior high as Kageyama.”

 

Kageyama looks over Hinata’s shoulder and sees the team, not failing to spot Kindaichi. Kageyama frowns at the smile on his face.

 

“Yeah. Oikawa-san was our upperclassman. So was Iwaizumi-san.” Kageyama points at the man standing next to the setter, an uncomfortable smile stretched across his face.

 

“Woah,” Hinata grins, “They look so strong!”

 

“Okay! Let’s try our best to beat them!!” Sugawara exclaims, grinning.

 

“Yeah!!” The team echoes his excitement.

  
  
///

 

The first thing Hinata notices is how big the school is. The bus ride had made him feel uneasy enough. but the prospect of playing the best team in the prefecture started to terrify him, even if was only a practice match.

 

Kageyama’s stomach is rolling and his head aches. He notes that Hinata is no better off, and that eases his nerves slightly.

 

“It’s been a while, King.”

 

Kageyama swallows at the familiar voice.

 

“What kind of dictatorship do you belong to now?” Kindaichi asks, his voice grating.  Kageyama doesn’t say anything, unable to think of any words.

 

“I look forward to seeing it in the match.” Kindaichi snickers. Kunimi stands beside him and shakes his head a little, sighing at his teammate.

 

Tanaka growls at Kindaichi, about to land a good punch or two, a look of “anyone who tries to hurt someone on the team will get a peace of my mind” present on his face”, but Daichi holds him back.

 

Kageyama clenches his fist before taking a deep breath, “Yeah.” He walks away, and Kindaichi stares after him, a little confused.

 

Tanaka sticks out his tongue at them before following after Kageyama and Daichi smiles a little sheepishly before trailing behind.

  
  


///

 

“Hinata.” Kageyama growls, his dark eyes wide.

 

Hinata gulps. Kageyama was like a demon or something, because it was humanly impossible to be this terrifying. It looks like there’s blank smoke emitting from his body.

 

“What are you so scared of?” Kageyama asks.

 

Hinata doesn’t say anything and just whimpers.

 

“You already served into the back of my head, is there anything more scary than that?” Kageyama asks, grimacing. He’s aware of the overwhelming presence he has, and he hopes that this can actually make Hinata play like normal.

 

Hinata shakes his head because no, there was absolutely nothing scarier than Kageyama being mad at him.

 

Kageyama sighs,  “Good. So get over your stupid nerves and play like normal!!”

 

Hinata takes a deep breath and nods, “Right!!”.

 

“Okay, okay, next point!” Daichi says, patting Hinata on a back and giving Kageyama a look, unsure of whether he approves of his methods.

 

Kindaichi glances at Hinata and then Kageyama, “Oi, did Kageyama just try to cheer up number 10?” he whispers, a little shocked.

 

Kunimi looks surprised too. Kageyama had never, not even once, apologized to someone when he made a mistake. ““I..think so?”

 

The game moves along quickly, Hinata no longer making silly mistakes. He and Kageyama manage to do their quick and Hinata grins, fist pumping the air. “Guwah, that felt great!”

 

Kageyama smiles to himself, not allowing the pride that runs through him at the moment show on his face.

 

At the next play, Kageyama tosses the ball again, biting his lip when he realizes it was slightly off. Hinata runs towards it anyway, and soon he’s flying, but when he swings his arm hits nothing.

 

“Sorry, the toss was too high.” Kageyama apologizes.

 

Kindaichi eyes him, _did he just say sorry?_

 

Hinata puffs out his chest, “Hmph, you better apologize.” But he shuts up when Kageyama glares at him.

 

“Okay, okay, next point!” Sugawara cheers them on with the others from the sidelines.

 

///

 

Kageyama takes a deep breath before entering the bathroom,

 

“Kindaichi-kun.”

 

Kindaichi stands three inches taller than Kageyama. Kageyama’s fist clenched and his palms are sweaty and his chest hurts and he wanted to say something, but he can't quite remember what. He opens his mouth, about to spit out something when--

 

“Don’t apologize.”

 

Kageyama grits his teeth.

 

“I won’t apologize either.” Kindaichi states.

 

“You haven’t changed. You’re still an oppressive king, and there’s no one I want to crush more than you.” Kindaichi’s tone isn’t the same as it used to be, Kageyama notes. It’s softer almost. Wary.

 

“Yeah.” Kageyama mumbles.

 

“Next time, we’ll win for sure.” Kindaichi says. Kageyama finds he isn’t scared when Kindaichi stands up a little straighter, his eyes narrowed and pointed down at him.

 

“Next time---”

 

Kageyama hears a voice coming down the hallway; it’s obnoxiously high pitched and sweet, and to not surprise, it’s Hinata. The orange haired boy hides behind the wall as soon as he sees them.

 

Kageyama takes a deep breath,  “The next time we meet, we will win again.”

 

Kindaichi stares wide eyed, and Kageyama bows his head slightly before turning around and walking towards Hinata.

 

“Did you cry?” Hinata giggles behind his hands.

 

“Of course not, idiot.” Kageyama tells him, frowning.

 

“You can’t fool me, Kageyama-kun.” Hinata grins slyly and chuckles.

 

“Shut up, dumbass.” Kageyama flicks Hinata’s forehead, huffing.

 

Kindaichi stares a little, confused. Kunimi enters through the gym, and when he asks Kindaichi what they were talking about, he just murmurs, “He said we.”

 

“He used to say always say I.”

 

“Damn,”

 

“I feel like I lost to him.”

 

Kunimi slaps him, not enough to hurt, just to knock some sense into him.

 

“What was that for??”

 

“Shut up.” Kunimi sighs.

 

“Hey!!”

  
  
///

 

_“It’s been a while, King.”_

 

Kageyama wakes up in a sweat that night. He supposes it’ll take more than a day for the nightmares to go away.

  
He doesn’t fall back asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks 4 reading friends!! till next time :3
> 
> alSO Im working on a playlist for this fic if u have any ideas hmu @ <http://bunnies-html.tumblr.com/>


	4. hide and seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing is, Hinata _knows_ something is wrong. He knows that most people don't flinch when you poke their backs, he knows that people do not have bruises on their shoulders, he knows that people do not have so much hate inside of them for no reason at all. Hinata doesn’t know why, but he wants Kageyama to be more than just okay. He wants Kageyama to understand that the future was brighter than he made it seem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no good excuses except school nd stress ehehe i hope u like this chapter

Kageyama takes a few breaths as he stares at his reflection in the mirror. It had been a week since he saw Kindaichi, and the amount of sleep he had gotten in the last seven days was minimal. It was clear on his face; the bags under his eyes, and the dark circles that went with them, were prominent.    
  
Kageyama splashes cold water on his face and glares at the mirror, frowning at the person staring back at him. His eyes are dark and his chest is still a little bruised; small scratches are barely visible under the fluorescent light.   
  
The lights flicker a bit and Kageyama groans, tossing on his uniform before exiting the bathroom. He had an hour to walk to school, but knowing that idiot, they were probably going to stop to get meat buns on the way to school.   
  
In the past week, Hinata had insisted on walking to and from school with Kageyama. They met at the intersection where the flowers turn pink in the spring, right around the corner of Ukai's store. Kageyama didn't exactly mind it, although he did expect Hinata to be more jumpy in the morning. Instead, he's usually tired, eyes droopy and hair more messed up than usual.    
  
Kageyama exits his house, mumbling a goodbye as he locks the door. It still smells like spring, despite it nearly being summer. The old lady next door waves at Kageyama as he walks by, a kind smile on her face. Kageyama nods, avoiding smiling in fear of scaring her.    
  
Kageyama is used to hearing Hinata before he sees him, a loud "Kageyama-kun!!" and cheerful laughter, but in the mornings it's always sleepy hellos and how are yous.    
  
Kageyama doesn't mind the silence the walk in, if anything, he appreciates it. Just having Hinata there was calming somehow.    
  
"Kageyama-kun?" Hinata stops walking for a bit, and Kageyama turns to stare at him.   
  
"What?" Kageyama asks, "Hurry up, we're gonna be late."   
  
Hinata stares at the ground, biting his lip, "Uhm."   
  
Kageyama raises an eyebrow, "Are you sick?" Kageyama frowns. If Hinata gets sick how are they supposed work on their quick?    
  
Hinata huffs, sticking out his tongue, "N-no! Never mind." Hinata continues walking again, quicker than before.   
  
Kageyama follows, wondering what Hinata wanted to say but also not wanting to be concerned. 

  
  
///

  
  
"Nice serve!" Daichi pats Kageyama on the back. The first year flinches, but murmurs his thanks before picking up another ball and serving again. Hinata watches wearily, picking up his own ball to practice receiving with the second years.    
  
Sugawara wanders to where Hinata stands, fiddling with the volleyball in his hands. Ennoshita glances at Sugawara and they shared a worried look, both eyeing the nervous first year. “Something on your mind, Hinata?” Sugawara asks, patting him on the back.

 

Hinata jumps and drops the ball, “Sugawara-san!”

 

Sugawara chuckles, bending over to pick up the ball and hand it back to Hinata, “You seem a little jittery.”

 

Hinata puffs out his chest, “I-I’m fine!!”. He rolls the ball around in his hands, taking a few breaths. 

 

“Really?” Sugawara raises an eyebrow in amusement. “Are you getting enough sleep?”

 

“Yes!!” Hinata shouts, glancing at the floor and mumbling something under his breath. Sugawara thinks he hears Kageyama’s name but he isn’t sure.

 

“What was that?” Sugawara asks, leaning in closer to hear the first year.

 

“Nothing!” Hinata squeaks, “I’m fine, Sugawara-san!” 

 

Sugawara smiles, “Okay, Hinata. But it you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to ask your senpai!” 

 

Ennoshita chuckles, “You sound like Noya and Tanaka, Suga-san.”

 

Sugawara sticks out his tongue, “Get back to practice.” The third year ruffles Hinata’s hair before returning to where Daichi stands, helping Kageyama with his serves and teaching him the different hand signals. 

 

“Okay, ready Hinata-kun?” Ennoshita asks, gesturing at the ball in Hinata’s hands.

  
“Oh, right! Sorry, Ennoshita-san!” Hinata tosses the ball to the upperclassman who returns it. They only manage a rally of a few hits before the ball falls to the ground. Hinata groans, and Ennoshita pats his back comfortingly, assuring him that he’d get better. 

 

Daichi chuckles as the second year tries to comfort Hinata, earning him a glare from Sugawara. “You should be more supportive of your underclassmen, Captain.” Sugawara huffs, elbowing Daichi in the side.

 

“That’s what I’ve got you for.” Daichi smiles, giving Sugawara’s hand a quick squeeze before wandering over to where Hinata and Ennoshita practice. 

 

Sugawara chuckles and watches as Ennoshita scolds Daichi before returning his gaze to Kageyama, who’s staring hard at the sheet with all the hand signs on it. 

 

“Okay, okay, here, Kageyama, I have an idea.”

 

///

 

Hinata eyes Kageyama in the locker rooms, glaring at the small bruise on his shoulder. He remembers earlier in class when he had a question and had poked Kageyama’s back, only to have his hand swatted away and an apology murmured. 

 

No one else seems to notice, and Hinata doesn’t blame them. He figures he’s just overly observant of Kageyama, solely because Kageyama was his setter. Hinata doesn’t realize that most of the team has left the locker room, and he quickly scurries away, certain the Kageyama wanted to be the last one out for a reason. Daichi and Sugawara talk in quiet voices outside, waiting for the first years to leave so they could lock up. 

 

Hinata waits for Kageyama with the third years. They both ask questions about how he’s liking his first year classes and teachers. Hinata complains about his and Kageyama’s English teacher, saying that he always makes them read outloud in class, even though he knows they're both terrible at it. Daichi laughs, informing HInata that it was a teacher's job to make sure students participate in class. Hinata begs to differ, saying there was no need to embarrass him in front of all the other students. 

 

When Kageyama does exit the locker rooms, he and Hinata wish the third years goodnight before heading on their way home. They stop to get meat buns, as they do almost every day, before and after practice. 

 

“I can’t believe our ace is so cool!! He was like...guwah! And pwah!” Hinata grins as he eats, excitingly waving his arms in the way. He still hadn’t gotten over the spike he had seen Asahi do in practice. 

 

Kageyama nods, nibbling on his own food. 

 

“With him and Noya-san we’re definitely a hundred times stronger!” Hinata fists pumps the air, “And with you and me, there’s no way we’ll lose!”

 

Kageyama stops walking and stares at Hinata’s back, “Do you really think that?”. 

 

“Huh?” Hinata turns to look at Kageyama, frowning at the grimace on his face. 

 

“Do you really think that we’re that strong?”

 

Hinata stares blankly at Kageyama, and Kageyama has a sudden desire to pick off the piece of rice that resides on the left side of Hinata’s mouth. “What do you mean?”

 

Kageyama sighs and stares at the ground, gripping his bag in his hand and avoiding meeting Hinata’s eyes, “Do you really think we can beat all the other teams?”

 

Hinata doesn’t seem to have to think before he speaks--he never really does--”Of course I do.”

 

“But we’re weak. We’re far weaker.” Kageyama points out, crossing his arms.

 

“That’s the exciting part, Kageyama-kun.” Hinata grins, spreading out his arms wide so they look like wings, “We’re weak, so we can only get stronger!” 

 

Kageyama thinks Hinata’s smile could compete with the sun, and he almost has to squint to look at him. 

 

“Right, Kageyama-kun?”

 

Kageyama can only nod and mumble a “right”.

 

The rest of the walk home consists of Hinata rambling about his little sister and how she stole one his video games and refused to return it until he let her give him a makeover, which he absolutely would not allow. Kageyama almost smiles at the thought of a miniature Hinata dressing him up in a dress and doing his makeup. 

 

When they come to the intersection Hinata hops on his bike and waves as he pedals away. “See you tomorrow, Kageyama-kun!”. Kageyama waves a little before turning right towards his own house. 

 

_ Only get stronger? _

  
  


///

 

Hinata does his best to keep his heart steady as he pedals home. He didn’t know why he wished Kageyama would smile more, but he attributed it to the fact that they’re teammates. (Not the fact that his smile was the warmest Hinata has ever seen.)

 

The thing is, Hinata _knows_ something is wrong. He knows that most people don't flinch when you poke their backs, he knows that people do not have bruises on their shoulders, he knows that people do not have so much hate inside of them for no reason at all. Hinata doesn’t know why, but he wants Kageyama to be more than just okay. He wants Kageyama to understand that the future was brighter than he made it seem.

 

Hinata sighs as he bikes, hoping that tomorrow he’ll have the nerve to ask why Kageyama always has bags under his eyes and why those scratches on his arms still haven’t faded away.

  
  
  


///

 

_ “Kageyama-kun,” _

 

_ Kageyama flinches at the syrup like consistency of Kindaichi’s voice. _

 

_ “You do understand you’re mine?” Kindaichi is seated on Kageyama’s desk and hovers over the boy. “And no one else’s.” _

 

_ Kageyama stares out the window and murmurs, “People can’t belong to people.” _

 

_ Kindaichi takes Kageyama’s wrist in his hand and traces the lines on his palm with his thumb, “Do you really believe that, Kageyama?” _

 

_ Kageyama wonders, does he believe that? Don’t all people belong to someone? Was it only natural that he belonged to Kindaichi? Did that mean Kindaichi belonged to him? _

 

_ “I don’t know.” Kageyama settles on saying, afraid he might light a fire under Kindaichi. _

 

_ Kindaichi’s thumb digs into Kageyama’s wrist, “You’re mine, okay?” _

 

_ Kageyama can’t find it in himself to say anything other than “Okay” back. _

 

_ /// _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter hinata finally confronts kageyama ohoho but when will it be finished no ones knows maybe before next yr maybe not have a nice holiday everyone!! OH AND MERRY CHRISTMAS


	5. i don't feel it anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohee happy new year everyone!! i hope u like this chapter. theres some progression not rlly but who knows i planned out the rest of the fic too finally all the chapters make sense and yeah now i just have to write them. alsO i made a playlist woooooh here ya go https://8tracks.com/bunnies-html/things-will-fall-apart

Hinata rubs at his eyes, yawning as he crawls out of bed, blanket still draped around his shoulders. He can hear his mom scolding Natsu, probably for spilling her juice. Hinata yawns again as he steps into the shower, jumping when the water is colder than he anticipated.  
  
Now a little more awake, Hinata's mind was of full of thoughts. Most of them concern Kageyama or volleyball, primarily the former. Kageyama, whose tosses never failed to sail to the peak where Hinata’s hand waited, whose eyes were the darkest blue Hinata has ever seen, whose fingernails were somehow always filed perfectly, whose shoulder had bruises, whose arm had scratches--   
  
Hinata shakes his head, sighing as he turns off the water. Today, he told himself, he would definitely ask Kageyama about it.  

  
  
/// 

 

  
"Good morning, Kageyama-kun." Hinata smiles up at the tall boy, who has the same frown that he has every day on his face.   
  
"Morning," Kageyama yawns, "You're more awake than usual."   
  
"Hmm, maybe." Hinata doesn't mention it's because his mind is racing with thoughts about Kageyama. "Oh! Do you wanna come over after practice to play video games??"   
  
Kageyama shrugs, "Sure."   
  
"Natsu finally gave me them back. Mom had to make her though. I told her she could play with me and she stopped crying." Hinata grins while talking about his sister. "She whines so much but she's so cute I can't say no."   
  
Kageyama can relate to that feeling; what with Hinata's small face and button nose and gosh, sometimes he looked like a hamster, and it was so endearing, even when he had three rice balls stuffed in his mouth. Kageyama felt like if Hinata asked him to rob a bank, he might just do it.   
  
"I'm going to cream you in Mario Kart!!" Hinata grins, proudly pointing a thumb to his chest.   
  
Kageyama shrugs again, "If you say so." Even though Hinata had not once beaten Kageyama.   
  
When they stop to get meat buns, Coach Ukai's mother tells them that her son had already left for early practice. Hinata had almost forgotten that they were doubling up on practices since the winter tournament was approaching.     
  
"RACE YOU!" Hinata shouted as soon as they left Ukai's store, meat bun already swallowed. Kageyama didn't know how Hinata was so small but ate so goddamn much. He was afraid that someday Hinata would just combust.   
  
"SLOW DOWN IDIOT!" Kageyama starts chasing after him, a meat bun hanging out of his mouth.   
  
They arrive to practice right as Coach Ukai is unlocking the gym, Daichi and Sugawara both there with him. "Looks like you two got here early," Sugawara smiles, one of those smiles that made Daichi (and surely the two first years) think that the heavens themselves had sent an angel to be Karsuno's vice captain.   
  
"I beat Kageyama-kun!" Hinata blurts out, breathing quickly.   
  
"No! I got here first!" Kageyama states, standing up straight as he catches his own breath.   
  
"Either way, you're both here now, so why don't you help set up the nets?" Daichi suggests, heading towards the supply closet.   
  
"Okay, Captain!" Hinata follows along willingly and Kageyama trails behind.   
  
Before long, the rest of the team has shown up, save for Tsukishima. According to Yamaguchi, "Tsukki isn't a morning person!", but he promised Daichi he'd try and get the blonde to wake up tomorrow morning.   
  
Practice goes by easily, both Kageyama and Hinata seem to be on the top of their game. Sugawara teaches Kageyama the last few hand signs, and they begin to practice with them, as well as with the verbal calls.   
  
By the time classes come along, Hinata is no longer chipper. Then again, Hinata didn't care to put in effort for much other than volleyball. Math class is a drag, but the duo get through English without the teacher calling on them. Once afternoon practice rolls around, Hinaga seems to be back on his feet. He buys a juice box for himself, and after some consideration, buys a milk carton for Kageyama. The tall boy always seemed to drink milk, which Hinata realizes is probably how he had grown.   
  
When he tosses Kageyama the milk, a look of utter confusion passes his face. Hinata almost snorts his juice at the way his eyebrows furrow. Kageyama seems to be looking for words but all he gets out is “Why?”   
  
"I thought you liked milk!" Hinata says, laughing, "Why are you making that face?"   
  
Kageyama glares at the milk accusingly, like it had just attacked him and his family.   
  
"Besides, you buy me meat buns all the time. That's what friends do, stupid!" Hinata sticks out his tongue before downing the rest of the juice and throwing the box away. "Come on, we gotta hurry!" He says, before skipping out of the club room and towards the gym.   
  
_friends?_   
  
Oh right, Kageyama always forget that he had those now.   
  
He supposes Hinata is his friend. They hang out outside of school and eat food together. The team does that too, so he guesses that means they're all friends. He thinks once Sugawara had said something about being a family, but he can't be certain.

  
friends and a family?   
  
Kageyama smiles to himself.   
  
He had come a long way. 

  
  
///

 

  
"Hey, Kageyama?" Hinata asks, after losing for the seventh time that evening. He insisted it was because he was out of practice but Kageyama had just snickered at him.   
  
"What?" Kageyama yawns, leaning against the foot of Hinata's bed.   
  
"Have you ever dated anyone?" Hinata's eyes look strange in the dimly lit room. Not so warm and amber as much cold and dreary.   
  
"No." Kageyama quickly states, even if it is a lie.   
  
"Really? 'Cause you're so tall and cool looking I wouldn't be surprised." Hinata mumbles, his cheeks slightly pink.   
  
"Why do you care?" Kageyama asks, huffing.   
  
"No reason," Hinata says in a sing song voice. "So if you're not dating anyone, than who’s that hickey on your shoulder from?"   
  
Kageyama's eyes go wide and his hand flies up to where the bruise lies. "How did you---?"   
  
Hinata looks away, "I'm sorry I asked you don't have to answer." Hinata looks embarrassed and Kageyama would probably make fun of him if it wasn't for a memory prodding at his mind--.   
  
  
_Kageyama knew he was running late, but practice ended thirty minutes past six, so his mother had already left for work. He didn't mind riding the train home, but the walk from the station to his house was long. Sometimes he wonders why he didn't choose to go to a school closer to his house, but then he remembers his neighbors talking with his mom about the volleyball team at their son's middle school, and within minutes Kageyama was convinced he had to go there._  
  
_As he walks past the red home next to his dark grey one, he notices someone leaving through the front door. Kageyama recalls Kindaichi's absence from practice, but Iwaizumi had said the boy was sick._  
  
_"Kindaichi-kun?" Kageyama asks, taking a few steps towards the home._  
  
_"Oh, Kageyama," Kindaichi smiles, "Yo."_  
  
_"Uh, can I ask something?" Kageyama asks, his eyes glued to the ground. There was something interesting about the way the pavement turned into a stone walkway, and the way Kindaichi's blue sneakers stood out against the grey rocks._  
  
_"Of course," When Kageyama looks up Kindaichi's smile is reaching his eyes, like it always does._  
  
_"Why do you want to...you know," Kageyama blushes and Kindaichi laughs, his hand coming to rest on Kageyama's wrist._  
  
_"Because you're so cute." Kindaichi grins, rubbing circles onto Kageyama's wrists, "And I want to make you mine."_  
  
_Kageyama tries to pull his wrist away but Kindaichi's grip suddenly tightens, and Kageyama is being pulled into Kindaichi's chest, and arms are wrapped around Kageyama's back._  
  
_"Kindaichi-kun..?" Kageyama asks, surprised._  
  
_Kindaichi doesn't say anything, but Kageyama can feel his lips pressed against his neck. Kindaichi applies more pressure, and Kageyama flinches when he hears Kindaichi's mouth makes a popping sound._  
  
_"You taste like sugar." Kindaichi murmurs, allowing his tongue to run over the small hickey that was starting to form on Kageyama's neck._  
  
_"K-kindaichi-kun, please s-stop." Kageyama stutters, attempting to push off Kindaichi. The boy doesn't listen, moving to the other side of Kageyama's neck and slides off his volleyball jacket, placing a kiss against the skin the collar used to cover._  
  
_"That hurts," Kageyama grits his teeth when Kindaichi bites down again._  
  
_"You asked why I want to do it, right?" Kindaichi asks, moving down to Kageyama's upper arm, biting as he goes, sometimes gently, mostly not. "I love you, Kageyama. And I know you love me. Right?"_  
  
_Kageyama grunts, "Y-yeah."_  
  
_"So please stop complaining," Kindaichi states, "You're dating me."_  
  
_Kageyama doesn't know what to say, and the pain in his neck and upper arm distract him from finding words. Kindaichi tsks when he hears a car approaching._  
  
_"Fix yourself," Kindaichi mutters, tossing Kageyama his volleyball jacket._  
  
_"Okay," Kageyama takes a few breaths as he puts on the jacket, flinching where the sleeves run over the arm._  
  
_Kindaichi is off then, saying he has a study group to get to. He gets into a yellow car and it drives away, leaving Kageyama alone in Kindaichi's yard. He wanders home, his house is just across the street, and takes a hot shower, trying to get rid off Kindaichi's scent._  
  
_But, no matter how he scrubbed---god, he scrubbed so much, it was still there---_   
  
  
  
"Kageyama-kun? Kageyama? Ka-ge-yama!" Hinata waves a hand in front of his face, "Geez, I said you don't have to answer."   
  
Kageyama just blinks slowly and Hinata nearly stops breathing when he realizes there are tears in his eyes.   
  
"Kageyama?? Why are you crying?? Did I say something?? I was probably just joking, you know!! Shoot, stop crying, please--" Hinata waves his arms around, and he runs around the room, looking for tissues. He finally finds some, but when he tries to hand them to Kageyama, the boy doesn't move.   
  
"Fine! I'll do it myself!" Hinata takes a tissue and wipes away the tears that drip down Kageyama's face and wow were his eyes always that blue and how was his skin so soft--   
  
Kageyama leans forward and before he knows it, Hinata has his arms wrapped around the boy, mumbling that it was okay, that everything was okay, and that he didn't have to tell Hinata anything. Of course, Hinata wanted to know who or what made Kageyama cry, so he could beat up them up. But, Hinata figures he could wait. The shaking boy in his arms mattered more to him in this moment than anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cringed while wriitng this chapter who lets me write at one am i hope u liked it thank u for reading


	6. clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heLLO this chapter is just about kindaichi and kageyama in junior high it starts out fluffy but kinda goes downhill from there ehehe i hope u like it i also apologize for any mistakes this is barely edited orz

“Tobio-chan~” Oikawa smiles as he walks up to the first year, “Do you want any help with your serves?”

 

Kageyama wants to accept, but he figures getting help from Oikawa would result with him being teased so instead he declines. “No.”

 

“Hmph, you’re not cute at all, Tobio-chan!” Oikawa whines, crossing his arms. 

 

“Oikawa, quit bothering the first years.” Iwaizumi appears next to the captain, flicking his shoulder. 

 

Kageyama ignores the third years and returns to practicing his serves, frowning when they don’t hit where he wants them to. 

 

KIndaichi watches him and smiles, giving Kageyama a thumbs up when he looks over.

 

“Are you and Kageyama-san…?” Kunimi glances between the two and raises an eyebrow.

 

“Mm, something like that.” Kindaichi shrugs, “Want to practice receiving?”

 

Kunimi frowns when Kindaichi stands, “Is that something you should be so apathetic about?”

 

Kindaichi stretches, rolling the ball around in his palms, “I don’t know. Are you coming or not? I’m going to ask Iwaizumi-san for help.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Kunimi sighs, following after Kindaichi, sparing a glance at Kageyama. The boy is staring at Kindaichi with a strange fondness that makes Kunimi stomach ache. 

 

///

 

“Kageyama, wanna go to the park?” Kindaichi asks after practice, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. 

 

Kageyama chews the straw of his milk box, “Okay.” He crumples up the box and throws it into the nearest trash can. 

 

Kindaichi smiles, bumping his shoulder into Kageyama’s. “You know, no matter how much milk you drink, you’ll still be shorter than me.”

 

Kageyama stares at Kindaichi, a small scowl on his face, “That doesn’t matter. As long as I can play volleyball, I don’t care how tall I am”

 

Kindaichi huffs, “Whatever.” 

 

Kageyama stares at Kindaichi’s hand as they walk. He slowly reaches for it, afraid that Kindaichi might slap him away. He’s surprised when Kindaichi doesn’t say anything, just holds his hand back. He thinks Kindaichi’s cheeks are turning pink, but he’s certain he’s imagining it. 

 

“You should get a haircut, Kindaichi-kun.” Kageyama murmurs, staring at the ground as they walk. He glances at their hands every so often and smiles a little. 

 

“Hmm, why?” Kindaichi raises a hand and feels the top of his head, “Is it too long?”

 

“It’s getting spikier.” Kageyama says, “Oikawa-san says you look like a turnip.”

 

“Oh, maybe I should cut it then.” Kindaichi mumbles.

 

“I think it’s fine the way it is.” Kageyama states, stopping for a moment to reach up and run a hand through Kindaichi’s hair. 

 

Kindaichi grumbles, “Then maybe I won’t.” 

 

Kageyama smiles, continuing to walk towards the park. It was starting to get dark, but he didn’t mind. The park was only a few minutes from his house, and watching the sunset with Kindaichi was his favorite part of the day.

 

“Ah, look, Kindaichi-kun, plum blossoms.” Kageyama points to a bunch of blossoming flowers, “That must mean winter is almost over.”

 

Kindaichi nods, “The school year is almost over too, hm? That means the third years are going to graduate. Oikawa-san said that both he and Iwaizumi-san are going to Aoba Jousai. My mom wants me to go there too.”

 

“But we’ve still got two years.” Kageyama says, staring at their hands. HIgh School was a distant place, somewhere Kageyama didn’t try to think about too much. 

 

Kindaichi nods, “You should go to Aoba Jousai too.”

 

“Okay,” Kageyama mumbles, leaning against Kindaichi’s shoulder. 

 

KIndaichi bends down and kisses the top of Kageyama’s head, “Good.”

 

Kageyama’s chest feels full, so he smiles, and gives Kindaichi’s hand a small squeeze. Maybe High School wouldn’t be too scary if Kindaichi was there with him. 

  
  
///

 

“Ever since the third years graduated, Kageyama’s been really…”

 

“...he acts like he’s a king. Like some sort of dictator…”

 

“...never thought I’d miss Oikawa-san so much…”

 

Kageyama takes a deep breath and ignores his teammates chatter. He tosses another ball, scowling when it falls to the floor. The spiker’s feet are on the court, and he stares at his hand and then at Kageyama. 

 

“Why can’t you hit the ball!?” Kageyama yells at his teammate, “It isn’t that hard!”

 

“Sorry, Kageyama-kun.” 

 

“Shouldn’t you do something?” Kunimi asks Kindaichi, watching the interaction between Kageyama and the other second year. 

 

Kindaichi shrugs, “He has it coming to him.”

 

“Aren’t you two dating?” Kunimi frowns, “Doesn’t that entitle you to stand up for him?”

 

“Not when he deserves it.” Kindaichi shakes his head, “He needs to quit being so full of himself.”

 

Kunimi sighs, “Okay, whatever you say.”

 

“Come on, King, get your act together.” 

 

“Stop making your tosses so fast, it’s not our fault we can’t hit them.”

 

Kunimi eyes his teammates, prepared to step in if anything goes wrong.

 

“It’s you guys! You don’t practice enough! You have to spike faster!”  Kageyama yells, glaring at his teammates. 

 

Kunimi hadn’t noticed Kindaichi leave his side, and he watches wearily as Kindaichi confronts the others. 

 

“Oi, Kageyama.” Kindaichi stands up straight, glaring down at Kageyama. “Quit it.”

 

“Why? It’s not my fault! They’re weak!” Kageyama yells, his hands in fists at his side. 

 

“You’re selfish, Kageyama.” Kindaichi steps forward and grabs the collar of Kageyama’s jacket, “You’re a King, a dictator.” He pushes Kageyama over and crosses his arms, “All of this is your fault.”

 

Kageyama bites his lips, “S-stop it.”

 

Kindaichi kicks Kageyama’s chest, “You never change. Once a king, always a king.” Kindaichi shakes his head, “You don’t deserve to be on this team.”

 

“You know, you should just go die.” Kindaichi kicks Kageyama again. 

 

“P-please stop,” Kageyama murmurs, tucking his legs in. 

 

“Tyrant,” Kindaichi spits, his foot coming into contact with Kageyama’s back, “You’re a useless tyrant.”

 

“H-ey, Kindaichi, take it easy.” 

 

“Yeah, he didn’t do anything!”

 

“That’s enough, Kindaichi, stop it already!”

 

Kindaichi frowns, “What, someone needs to teach him a lesson. Don’t you agree?”

 

“Please just stop,” One of the members crouches in front of Kageyama, “He’s bleeding, he’s seriously hurt!”

 

“Get out of the way or I’ll kick you too,” Kindaichi growls.

 

“Oi, Kindaichi,” Kunimi rushes over, “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m teaching Kageyama a lesson,” Kindaichi states, eyeing the boy on the floor. 

 

“What the hell has he ever done?” Kunimi shakes his head, “What’s wrong with you, Kindaichi?”

 

Kindaichi glances at the rest of the team, all staring at him with wide eyes. “I--”

 

“Go home, Kindaichi.” Kunimi says, “Just go.”

 

Kindaichi opens his mouth to say something but Kunimi shakes his head, “Leave”. He points to the exit and Kindaichi grabs his bag before running out. 

 

“Kageyama, are you okay?” Kunimi bends down, offering him a hand, “Here, let’s take you to the trainer, he’ll have ice and something for the pain. Ryu, Takashi, please take him.”

 

The two first years nod, quickly helping their upperclassman.

 

Kunimi sighs at the crowd that had assembled. _ Where are the third years when you need them? _

 

Kunimi claps his hands together, “Okay, get back to practice everyone.”

 

///

 

Kunimi checks in with Kageyama before heading back home after practice. The trainer tells him that Kageyama had fallen asleep, and that he wouldn't tell him how he got the injuries, and that there were even older ones on his stomach and legs. Kunimi thanks the trainer and leaves Kageyama’s things there, reminding himself to talk to the captains and coach about letting Kageyama sit out for the next few practices. 

 

Kunimi stops by the convenience store on the way home, buying two boxes of juice, and two meat buns. He knows that Kindaichi’s probably at the park in their neighborhood. He and Kageyama go there almost everyday after practice, and Kindaichi always sticks around longer than the other.

 

When he gets to the park he sees Kindaichi on the swing, kicking at the ground and swinging slowly. Kunimi sits on the swing next to him and offers him the juice. 

 

“Kindaichi,” Kunimi starts, “what’s going on?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Kindaichi sips at the juice, staring at the ground.

 

“You know what I mean.” Kunimi nudges Kindaichi’s foot with his own.

 

“I’m sorry,” Kindaichi mumbles. 

 

“You have to apologize to Kageyama, not me.” Kunimi sighs. “Why don’t you just break up with him? You’ve been hurting him for a while.”

 

“But I like him.” Kindaichi states.

 

“That doesn’t matter. Your abusive behavior has no excuse. Either stop hurting him or break up with him.” Kunimi demands, crossing his arms. “It’s hurting the team, too.”

 

“B-but--”

 

“No ‘but’s.” Kunimi hands Kindaichi a meat bun. “Do you want to sleep over tonight?”

 

Kindaichi takes it and nods, “Yes, please.”

 

“Your mom’s home?” Kunimi asks.

 

“Dad is too.” Kindaichi murmurs, nibbling at the meat bun.

 

“Okay, c’mon, let’s get going.” Kunimi stands, yawning. He knew that Kindaichi’s parents could be bad on their own, but both of them together wasn’t good for Kindaichi. 

 

“Thank you, Kunimi.” Kindaichi says, trailing behind the boy. He reminds Kunimi of a puppy with its tail between its legs. 

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Kunimi sighs, “Please stop hurting him, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Kindaichi says. “I promise I will.”

 

///

 

The next day, Kunimi sees Kindaichi in Kageyama’s classroom during lunch, apologizing to Kageyama. Kindaichi has a milk box in his hand and he’s offering it to Kageyama, who takes it warily.

 

Practice goes by smoothly, and most of the team members have forgotten, or at least they pretend they have forgotten, about yesterday's events. Kageyama is sitting out, as ordered by Kunimi. Kunimi had told Kindaichi that he’s not allowed to come to practice for a week. Kunimi had told the coach the Kageyama had fell off his bike and sustained minor injuries but insisted on coming to practice, and that Kindaichi had a cold and he didn’t want to risk the rest of the team getting sick.  

 

Kindaichi’s waiting for Kageyama outside the gym, and once practice ends Kunimi watches as they walk home together, their arms brushing lightly. He hopes Kindaichi keeps his promise. 

 

///

 

“I’m not going to Aoba Jousai.” Kageyama says on their graduation.

 

Kindaichi isn’t surprised, he figured Kageyama would want nothing to do with him.

 

“I’m breaking up with you.” Kageyama states, his eyes meeting Kindaichi’s. 

 

“Are you sure?” Kindaichi asks, grabbing Kageyama’s arm, but with a loose grip. 

 

Kageyama pulls his arm away, “Yes. Goodbye, Kindaichi.”

 

Kindaichi frowns as Kageyama walks away, something in his chest aching. 

 

_ Goodbye _

 

Goodbye hurts a lot more than Kindaichi thought it could. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kindaichi does not keep his promise to kunimi, but he doesnt hurt kageyama in public orz im sorry tobes i lve you
> 
> THERE WILL BE KAGEHINA NEXT CHAPTER I PROMISE 
> 
> also when will the next chapter be done i dont rlly know eheheh ive got midterms but i ll still try to write at least sm this week
> 
> thank u for reading !!


	7. patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo ~ miderterms r over thank god aaa i hope u guys like this chapter ! there is a vague sex scene here just a warning !!

_ “Hey, Kageyama,” _

 

_ Kageyama doesn’t look up from his desk, his eyebrows furrowed as he tries to understand his math homework, “Yes, Kindaichi-kun?” _

 

_ “Are you really not applying to Aoba Jousai?”  _

 

_ Kageyama turns to face his boyfriend who lays on the bed, a volleyball rolling along his palms. “Yes.” _

 

_ “Where do you want to go then?” Kindaichi sits up, staring at the volleyball in his hands. “Seijoh has the best team. Oikawa-san is there. So is Iwaizumi-san. Me and Kunimi are both applying there.” _

 

_ Kageyama bites his lip, finding it difficult to say that them being there was the exact reason he didn't want to go. “I’m going to apply to Shiratorizawa. Maybe Date Tech and Karasuno.” _

 

_ “I understand the first two, but Karasuno? Their team hasn’t made nationals in so long.” Kindaichi frowns down at the ball, “It’s not too late to apply to Aoba Jousai.” _

 

_ “I don’t want to.” Kageyama spits out, turning back to his homework.  _

 

_ “Kageyama,” Kindaichi says, the tone of his voice making Kageyama shudder. “Come here.” _

 

_ Kageyama complies, standing and shuffling over to the bed where Kindaichi sits. Kindaichi takes his wrist and pulls him down to kiss him.  _

 

_ “I want to do it.” Kindaichi murmurs, trailing kisses over Kageyama’s jawline. _

 

_ Kageyama swallows, “What?” _

 

_ Kindaichi grins and meets Kageyama’s eyes, “You know what I mean, Kageyama, don’t play dumb.” _

 

_ Kageyama looks away, “I don’t want to.” _

 

_ Kindaichi hums as he unzips Kageyama’s jacket, running his hands along the sides of Kageyama’s chest.  _

 

_ “Your fingers are cold, Kindaichi-kun.” Kageyama mumbles, covering his face with his arm.  _

 

_ Kindaichi stares at him for a moment before chuckling, “That sounds like something you’d say.” He gently removes Kageyama’s arm, and they fall backwards onto the bed, Kindaichi placing kisses down Kageyama’s chest. _

 

_ “Do you really not want to?” Kindaichi asks when he feels Kageyama tense under him.  _

 

_ Kageyama bites his lips and rolls his head to the side, “I don’t care.” _

 

_ Kindaichi nods, nipping Kageyama’s skin, “Good.” _

 

_ Kageyama doesn't say anything when Kindaichi takes the belt off his pants, or when he slides them off. He stays silent when Kindaichi’s own clothes come off, only staring at the way Kindaichi’s skin was a few shades darker than his, and how smooth it seemed to be. Kindaichi looks surprised when Kageyama brings up a hand and touches his chest, only to quickly remove it while blushing. When Kindaichi asks for something, Kageyama gestures to his bedside table, and Kindaichi digs around in the drawer until he find a tube and a plastic package. _

 

_ Kindaichi’s breathing matches Kageyama’s, and Kageyama bites his lip because _ it hurt _ god it hurt so much but Kindaichi said this was love, that he loved him, so all this pain  _ must _ mean something.  _

 

_ “K-kindaichi--” Kageyama’s arms wrap around Kindaichi's neck, and every thrust seems to hurt more than the last, but he finds some pleasure in the burning sensation he feels. Kindaichi murmurs something, but Kageyama is too distracted to hear the words that he is saying.  _

 

_ When he comes, Kindaichi says someone’s name, and Kageyama is surprised it is his own.  _

 

_ “I love you, Kageyama,” Kindaichi mumbles, leaning down and kissing his cheek, “I love you.” _

 

_ Kageyama is grateful that Kindaichi does nothing when he can’t find it in himself to say that he loves him too.  _

 

_ “Are you happy?” Kageyama asks absentmindedly while Kindaichi’s hand runs through his hair. _

 

_ Kindaichi smiles, “Something like that.” _

 

_ Kageyama is vaguely aware that Kindaichi is lying, and that he is not happy, but instead he starts to cry, and Kindaichi sighs, hugging him tightly.  _

 

_ “They can’t know---my mom--she can’t know,” Kageyama wipes at his tears. _

 

_ Kindaichi smiles and uses his thumb to flick away a tear, “I won’t say anything.” _

 

_ “She doesn't need to know her son is like this, you know, that he’s this disgusting human.” _

 

_ Kageyama bites his lip and nods, trying his best to hold back more tears. _

 

_ He is beginning to realize this isn’t what people call love. _

 

  
_ /// _

 

 

“Suga-san, I think something is wrong with Kageyama.”

 

Sugawara looks at the first year and smiles, “Why do you think that?”

 

Hinata crosses his arms and frowns, “He’s been so cold lately! Colder than usual! And his tosses are crazier than usual!”

 

“Hm, has he been getting enough sleep?” Sugawara asks, “He looks a little tired.”

 

The pair stares at said boy as he serves, gritting his teeth when the serve does not fall in the correct spot. Daichi pats his back, but Kageyama just tenses and goes to serve again.

 

“Would you like me to talk with him? I can--”

 

“NO! Kageyama can’t know I asked you for help!!” Hinata says in a loud whisper.

 

Sugawara chuckles, “Okay, Hinata-kun, why don’t you ask him?”

 

Hinata shakes his head, “He’ll just yell at me.”

 

“You won’t know unless you try.” Sugawara states, placing a hand on Hinata’s shoulder, “Just be gentle.”

 

Hinata huffs and turns around, mumbling something about how there was no correlation between the words Kageyama and gentle. 

 

Sugawara laughs as the first year marches over to Kageyama. He hopes that they don’t start a fight like they always seem to.

 

“Suga-san! Can you set for me?” Asahi asks nervously, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. 

 

“Of course!” Sugawara grins. Even if he didn’t play in games, he was still Karasuno official setter.

 

“ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?” Hinata’s voice echoes in the gym and Sugawara cringes.  _ It’s been less than a minute.  _

 

“Shut up, idiot!” Kageyama’s voice is a low growl as his eyes narrow. 

 

“No! Your toss was finally getting better but then you went and changed it again! I told you to trust me! I can hit it!” Hinata exclaims, grabbing Kageyama’s collar and pulling him down.

 

“Maybe you should learn to hit this toss!” Kageyama yells, pulling at Hinata’s hair.

 

Hinata pins Kageyama against the gym wall, scowling, “For once! Listen to me! Trust me!”

 

Kageyama suddenly goes silent, but Hinata keeps yelling, “I can hit it! Just give me your best toss! Don’t half ass it because you think I can’t!”

 

Kageyama mumbles something but Hinata doesn't catch it, “What?”

 

“Please stop. I’m sorry.”

 

Hinata stares wide eyed at Kageyama, “E-eh, what are you apologizing for?”

 

“Please don’t hit me, I’m sorry.” Kageyama’s staring at the floor and Hinata lets go of his collar when he realizes Kageyama's crying,  _ holy shit he’s crying-- _

 

Sugawara has run over by now and his hand is on Kageyama’s shoulder, “Why don’t we go outside, hm?”

 

Kageyama doesn’t say anything and allows himself to be lead outside by Sugawara. Hinata tries to follow but Nishinoya stops him, shaking his head,

 

“Let Suga-san deal with it. Practice receives with me?” Nishinoya grins and Hinata wants to say something, but no words come out, so he solemnly follows the libero.

 

Sugawara doesn’t come back inside for an hour, and when he does he goes to talk to Daichi before approaching Hinata.

 

“Suga-san! Where’s Kageyama?” Hinata jumps to look over Sugawara shoulders.

 

“He went home.” Sugawara says, placing a hand on HInata’s shoulder to steady him. “I think you should talk to him.”

 

“What? I don’t need to apologize for anything.” Hinata grumbles.

 

Sugawara smiles, “Just do it. Ask him what’s wrong. And remember what I said about being gentle.”

 

HInata groans, “But it’s so hard! He’s  _ Kageyama _ !”

 

“I know. And I know you care about him. So ask.” Sugawara smirks a little knowingly. 

 

“F-fine,” Hinata mumbles, cheeks turning pink.

 

“Okay, four laps around the gym and practice will be over!” Daichi states as he steps outside, the rest of Karasuno groaning as they follow him.

 

“C’mon, Hinata-kun.” Sugawara jogs over to the rest of the group, Hinata running after him.

 

_ Gentle? _

 

Hinata remembers how Kageyama seemed to shake when he grabbed his collar, how he went stiff when he began to yell.

 

_ Right, gentle. _

 

_ /// _

 

“Please don’t tell anyone.” Kageyama mumbles, his head in his hands.

 

Sugawara rubs his back soothingly. “I won’t Kageyama-kun, but remember, we all care, okay? You’re important to us, and we would never want to hurt you.”

 

“Thank you, Suga-san.” Kageyama breathes, his chest no longer shaking. 

 

“Why don’t you head home? Practice will be over soon, anyway.” Sugawara smiles and Kageyama wonders how a single person can be so soothing.

 

“Okay,” Kageyama stands slowly, zipping the front of his jacket. 

 

“Take your time, Kageyama-kun, we aren’t going anywhere.” Sugawara ruffles the first year’s hair. “See you tomorrow, then?”

 

“Yes,” Kageyama nods his head, “Thank you.”

 

“I am your reliable senpai after all.” Sugawara smiles and winks, “Now, go on, get home.”

 

Kageyama says a final good night before turning and heading home.

Sugawara had said he could take his time, that they weren’t going to leave. 

 

Kageyama bites at his lips when he feels a smile forming.

  
Things were finally getting better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suga wins best mom award
> 
> also im sorry i lied abt the kagehina BUT THEYRE WILL BE SOME NEXT CHAPTER I SWEAR ON THE HONOR OF MY FAMILY
> 
> thank u for reading !!


	8. fix you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata hums to himself as he moves around the kitchen, and a part of Kageyama finds it extremely endearing. It was so natural, like it was normal for Hinata to be making soup in Kageyama’s kitchen at seven thirty on a Thursday evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey whats up heres a chapter i hope u all like it

Kageyama glares at the clock on his nightstand. The red numbers glow at him, and the sunlight peeking in through the window told him it was time he got up. In the course of two days, he had only managed to sleep four hours. He considers not going to morning practice. He doubts he’d be able to toss well, and the thought of failure makes him sink deeper into his covers. He decides to close his eyes, telling himself he’ll get up in a few more minutes.

 

When Kageyama does open his eyes again, the clock reads eleven am. He doesn’t panic, just tucks himself back into bed with a huff. Neither of his parents were home to scold him, and missing one day of school was no big deal.

 

He doesn’t fall back asleep though, he just lays there, eyes closed, breathing faint. This was easy. Hiding was easy. Kageyama did not like facing his fears, or trying to fix his faults. He wanted to, yes he really wanted to be better than how he is, but it was scary.

 

He doesn’t realize how much time passes with him just laying there. Soon the sky is starting to darken and he realizes it’s already five in the evening. He gets out of bed with a grunt, his stomach growling. He makes his way to the kitchen, finding leftovers and heating them up before taking a seat in front of the television. He digs his phone out his pocket and his eyes widen a bit when he sees a blinking notification.

 

_12 Missed Calls_

 

_47 Unread Messages_

 

One of the missed calls is from his mother, and the other eleven are from Hinata.

 

Most of the messages are also from Hinata, but one is from Daichi, and a few are from Tanaka and Nishinoya. Daichi’s is simple, just asking where he is, and saying that if he’s sick he hopes he feels better. Tanaka and Nishinoya text in all caps, WHERE R U??? and U BETTER NOT BE BAILING.

 

Hinata’s are similar to theirs, and Kageyama frowns a little as he reads the text, wondering why Hinata cared so much.

 

_from: dumbass_

_where r u??_

 

_from: dumbass_

_r u sick??_

 

_from: dumbass_

_u better not be sick_

 

_from: dumbass_

_our prctice game against nekoma is nxt week!!_

 

_from: dumbass_

_y arent u picking up the phone!!_

 

_from: dumbass_

_stupid kageyama_

 

_from: dumbass_

_suga-san is rlly worried!!_

 

_from: dumbass_

_u didn’t come to school either!_

 

_from: dumbass_

_i fell asleep in english and sensei yelled at me_

 

_from: dumbass_

_(⁎˃ᆺ˂)_

 

Kageyama starts typing out a message, his heart thrumming as his fingers hover over the letters. He sends it before he over thinks anything.

 

_to: dumbass_

_i have a cold_

 

The reply comes in seconds, and Kageyama wonders how Hinata always has his phone on him.

 

_from: dumbass_

_!!! do u have soup? drink soup! my mom always gives me soup when im sick_ ( ◞･౪･)

  


_to: dumbass_

_whats that_

  


_from: dumbass_

_whats what??_

  


_to: dumbass_

_( ◞･౪･)_

  


_from: dumbass_

_an emoticon duh_

 

_from: dumbass_

_oikawa-san showed a bunch to me!!! (*･▽･*)_

  


Kageyama rolls his eyes. Of course Oikawa had.

 

_from: dumbass_

_okay but do u have soup??_

  
  


_to: dumbass_

_no im eating leftover curry_

  


_from: dumbass_

_what?? suga-san says u shouldnt eat curry when u have a cold._

  
  


_to: dumbass_

_its all we have_

  


_from: dumbass_

_hmph fine im coming over_

  


_to: dumbass_

_what? why?_

  


_from: dumbass_

_im bringing soup_

 

_from: dumbass_

_ooh i gtg!! i’ll see u later!_

  


_to: dumbass_

_okay_

 

Kageyama frowns, tucking his phone away. Hinata had only been to his house once before, did he even remember where it is? Why was he even bothering to come over in the first place? Kageyama thanks his mother in his head for always keeping the house so clean. According to his phone, it was six, so practice should be ending soon. Kageyama decides he’ll sit on the couch until Hinata shows up. The news plays on the TV and Kageyama buries himself under the blankets, closing his eyes for a bit.

  


///

 

Hinata huffs as he puts his phone in his pocket, _a cold? Hmph, I may be stupid, but I’m not that stupid._ Sugawara doesn’t say anything when Hinata purchases a packet of soup cans from the foothill store, he just chuckles to himself and waves a hand when Daichi raises an eyebrow.

 

Sugawara pats Hinata on the back and wishes him good luck when the team is finished eating their meat buns. Hinata blushes, shaking his head a little, saying “It’s not like that!!”. Hinata tosses the plastic bag into the basket on his bike before hopping on, vaguely remembering where Kageyama’s house is. He remembers it being large and blue, and not too far off from where he and Kageyama split ways every day after school.

 

When he hears knocks on the door Kageyama slowly gets off the couch, taking the blanket he had wrapped himself up in with him as he goes to answer the door. He opens it to see a head of orange hair.

 

_I always forget how short he is._

 

“Kageyama!” Hinata grins, and then laughs at Kageyama's appearance, “Did you just wake up?”

 

Kageyama huffs, “No.”

 

Hinata walks past him and into his house, placing the soup down on the counter in the kitchen. “It’s just convenience store soup but it’s better than nothing.”

 

Kageyama doesn't say much , just watches as Hinata waltzes around the kitchen, digging out a can opener and pans.

 

“Mm, do you have a rice cooker?” Hinata asks when he finds white rice in a cabinet.

 

Kageyama points and Hinata nods, thanking him.

 

“Can you cut up some vegetables to put in the soup?” Hinata asks, digging through Kageyama’s fridge and pulling out celery and onions.

 

“Okay.” Kageyama mumbles taking them from him and getting a kitchen knife, quietly chopping them.

 

Hinata hums to himself as he moves around the kitchen, and a part of Kageyama finds it extremely endearing. It was so _natural,_ like it was normal for Hinata to be making soup in Kageyama’s kitchen at seven thirty on a Thursday evening.

 

“Hinata,”

 

“Hm?” Hinata dumps the canned soup into a pot and sticks it on the stove.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Hinata is facing away from him, but Kageyama sees the tip of his ears turn pink. “Y-yeah whatever.”

 

Kageyama huffs, his own face red as he returns to chopping onions.

 

Once the soup is done and the rice is finished, they sit down at the table. Hinata notices that it’s awfully small, especially compared to the rest of Kageyama’s house, but he doesn’t say anything.

 

“Thank you for the meal,” Kageyama mumbles, picking at the rice and nibbling on it.

 

Hinata watches the boy warily, poking at his own meal. The soup turned out well, with all the extra seasoning and vegetables Hinata would never guess it was store bought.

 

Kageyama sips at the soup, a look of surprise on his face.

 

Hinata huffs, “What? You don’t like it?”

 

Kageyama shakes his head, “No. It’s good.” And the look on Kageyama’s face is so peaceful--no furrowed brows or scowls and something like a smile, that Hinata’s eyes widen, and he can feel the blood rush to his face.

 

“Hmph, of course it is!” Hinata states, stuffing his face with rice.

 

When they finish Kageyama takes their plates away, sticking them in the sink to clean later. Hinata helps him wrap up the leftover soup and rice. Hinata glances at the clock, frowning when he realizes it’s nearly nine thirty.

 

“Kageyama--”

 

“You can stay the night if you want!” Kageyama says suddenly, facing Hinata but staring at the floor.

 

“Aaah, are you sure?” Hinata asks, pulling at the sleeves of his shirt.

 

“Y-yeah.” Kageyama puts the rice in the fridge and closes it, “It’s dark out.”

 

Hinata grins, “Okay! Thanks, Kageyama!”

 

Kageyama nods, “I can lend you some clothes.”

 

“Oh! Can I borrow your shower too?” Hinata asks, following Kageyama as he exits the kitchen.

 

“Sure.” Kageyama mumbles, trying to shake the image of Hinata stepping out of the shower out of his head.

 

Kageyama digs through his closet as Hinata stands outside his room, not sure whether it was appropriate to enter. Kageyama tosses Hinata a pair of shorts and an old shirt, although he doubts either will fit him. “The bathroom’s right there.” Kageyama points to a door past Hinata.

 

Hinata nods and turns around, “Okay!”

 

Kageyama stares as Hinata shuffles into the bathroom, and he stays standing in his room for a while until he hears the water running. He decides to pick out a movie for them to watch. He bets Hinata loves animated films, so he digs around until he finds one that has some sort of bunny on it, sitting on a tree branch with two kids and more smaller bunnies.

 

He sets the movie up in the and settles down into the couch, wrapping himself up in a blanket. He plays around on his phone, checking in on the cats on the game that Hinata had convinced him to get. The only reason he kept it was because of the orange tabby he named Hina.

 

Kageyama hears Hinata’s footsteps coming down the hall; they’re quiet and light and Kageyama finds them peaceful.

 

“TOTORO??” Hinata grins, jumping onto the couch next to Kageyama. “I love this movie!!”

 

Kageyama snickers, “I thought you would.”

 

Hinata huffs, burying himself into the couch. “What does that mean?”

 

Kageyama hits play, “Nothing.” He tries to avoid looking directly at Hinata. The shirt hangs off his shoulders, and his skin is pale, almost like the moon. Kageyama can see a few freckles, and it’s almost like someone took a handful of stars and scattered them there.

 

Hinata sticks out his tongue and scoots closer to Kageyama, tugging on the blanket and draping it over himself. Kageyama hisses when Hinata pokes his leg with his feet.

 

“Your feet are cold!” Kageyama tucks his legs into his chest, frowning.

 

Hinata laughs, “That’s the point.”

 

Kageyama ignores him and stares back at the movie screen, not noticing how Hinata had been scooting closer. He finally realizes when he looks to his right and Hinata is there, staring up at him, amber eyes wide.

 

Kageyama jumps a little, “Hinata, what are you doing?”

 

Hinata frowns, “You’re not actually sick, are you, Kageyama?”

 

Kageyama huffs and purses his lips, looking away from Hinata, “Maybe.”

 

Hinata tugs on the front of Kageyama’s shirt, “You’re lying.”

 

“Why does it matter?” Kageyama mumbles, staring at the small fist Hinata’s hand makes in his shirt.

 

“I’m your partner, Kageyama. We’re the first year duo! We’re unstoppable.” Hinata grins at him, releasing his shirt to flick his nose, “And I’m your teammate and your friend.”

 

Kageyama shakes his head a little bit when Hinata touches him. He wonders why he isn’t panicking, why his heart is racing but not because he’s scared. “

 

“So, please tell me when something’s bothering you.” Hinata huffs, burying his face in Kageyama’s chest, “Because I care a whole lot.”

 

Kageyama doesn’t flinch, and he raises his hand to rest it on Hinata’s head. “Okay.”

 

Hinata smiles and snuggles into Kageyama’s chest, his head turned slightly so he can see the movie, “Good.”

 

Kageyama runs his finger through Hinata's hair, still a little wet, the ends curling up nonetheless.

 

“You know, I might..fall asleep..” Hinata mumbles a few moments later, yawning.

 

“Okay.” Kageyama murmurs, his fingers stopping for a bit. Hinata’s eyes are closed and Kageyama notices that his eyelashes are incredibly thick, and his nose is almost like a button, and that his lips were really pink--

 

“Kageyama?” Hinata mutters.

 

“Yeah?” Kageyama continues running his fingers through Hinata’s hair.

 

“I like you...like...a whole lot.” Hinata buries his face deeper into Kageyama and Kageyama bets that he’s bright red, maybe even redder than Kageyama’s own face.

 

“Oh,” Kageyama says, biting his lip. “I--”

 

“It’s okay if you don’t like me! You don’t have to pity me or anything and tell me you like me if you don’t! I just want to make sure you’re okay and happy and--”

 

“Dumbass, I like you too.” Kageyama mumbles into Hinata’s hair.

 

“W-what?” Hinata asks, looking up to Kageyama’s eyes.

 

“I like you too.” Kageyama whispers, his hand pausing in Hinata’s hair.

 

Hinata’s eyes go wide before he grins, wrapping his arms around Kageyama. Kageyama wraps his own arms around Hinata, smiling into the hair that tickles his chin.

 

“You should fake sick more often, Kageyama.” Hinata giggles, and Kageyama can feel his chest move when he laughs.

 

“Be quiet, dumbass.” Kageyama mumbles, smiling slightly.

  
Hinata giggles more, snuggling into Kageyama, and before long, Kageyama can hear snores coming from the boy. The movie plays in the background and Kageyama closes his eyes, sleeping peacefully for the first time in two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MWAHAH i said there would be fluff ehehee hinata will find out abt kindaichi in the future at some point maybe next chapter!!! ty for reading !!


	9. you can be king again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama lets out a small breath and wipes his palms on his jeans, surprised at how he didn’t really mind that Hinata made his hands sweaty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> g uess who's back  
> bac k again
> 
> hello friends i hope u r all well pls enjoy this lil chapter !!

Kageyama does go to morning practice the next day, although he’s given strict orders by Sugawara that he can’t push himself. Hinata seems to be hovering over Kageyama and watching all of his movements, until Daichi smacks him on the head and tells him to focus on practicing receives.

 

Daichi tells Kageyama that he doesn’t have to come to practice after school, and that despite Kageyama’s protests, Daichi’s word is final.

 

The day drags on, and Kageyama can feel Hinata’s eyes on him in all their classes. During lunch Hinata says nothing, just stares at Kageyama as he eats. Kageyama is uncomfortable but he doesn’t know what to say, so he chooses to stay silent.

 

“Are we dating, Kageyama?” Hinata asks suddenly.

 

Kageyama nearly chokes on his milk, “W-what?”

 

Hinata huffs, his cheeks dusting pink, “W-well, I thought maybe, since you l-like me and I l-like you, we could, um, you know…”

 

Kageyama swallows, and tries to get his voice to work. “D-do you want to date?”

 

“Isn’t that obvious, idiot…” Hinata nods his head and mumbles, his cheeks still red.

 

“Okay, then. let’s date.” Kageyama says, the tips of his ears reddening.

 

Hinata grins as he finishes his lunch; and if his legs wrap around Kageyama’s under the desk, it was completely unintentional.

 

///

 

“Kageyama, can we go the sports store before the movie? I want new kneepads!” Hinata asks, swinging their arms between them.

 

“Sure.” Kageyama says, his heart threatening to beat so loud that he’s certain Hinata can hear it. _Is this a date?_ Kageyama tries to maintain his breathing, and he has no idea how the other boy is so calm. _This is a date. we’re holding hands!_

 

“I wanna get cool ones, maybe like Oikawa-san’s! Or ones that have crows on them...do they sell those?” HInata mumbles to himself and Kageyama finds it somewhat endearing.

 

“I don’t think they sell kneepads with cats.” Kageyama tells him.

 

“Aw, that sucks. Maybe I’ll just get colored ones then. Oh! Black and orange!” Hinata grins, nodding at his idea.

 

“That’s fine for practice, but for matches you need plain black ones.” Kageyama reminds him.

 

“Oh, right, right.” Hinata sighs, “How mad would Daichi-san be if I showed up to a match with orange knee pads?”

 

Kageyama shudders imaging it, “Don’t try it.”

 

Hinata furrows his brows at the thought and then shivers, “Yup, no, bad idea. He’d go into scary captain mode.” Hinata lets go of Kageyama’s hand for a moment to impersonate Daichi’s scary captain mode. He crosses his arms and furrows his eyebrows, lifting his lower lip a little in a grimace.

 

Kageyama pats down Hinata’s hair, “Yeah, just like that.”

 

Hinata sighs, uncrossing his arms and taking Kageyama’s hand back in his. “Daichi-san is scary.”

 

Kageyama nods, smiling a little at the way their hands swing between them.

 

“Do you need anything from here?” HInata asks as they enter the sports store.

 

Kageyama shakes his head, “Not in particular. I’ll go look around while you get your knee pads.”

 

“Okay!” Hinata nods, letting go of Kageyama's hand as he wanders into the store. Kageyama lets out a small breath and wipes his palms on his jeans, surprised at how he didn’t really mind that Hinata made his hands sweaty. Kageyama walks through the store, stopping in an aisle full of volleyballs. He hears someone walk up beside him and doesn't realize who it is until he turns his head to the side.

 

“Kunimi-san?” Kageyama recognizes his former teammate.

 

“Oh, Kageyama, hello.” Kunimi bows his head in greeting, “How have you been?”

 

“O-oh, uhm, fine.” Kageyama shifts his weight from one foot the other, biting his lip anxiously. _Where the hell did that dumbass go?_

 

“Are you looking for anything in particular?” Kunimi asks, standing next to Kageyama and looking up the rack of volleyballs. “A new ball?”

 

Kageyama shakes his head, “No. I'm here with a teammate.”

 

Kunimi’s eyes widen in confusion for a moment, “Teammate?”.

 

Kageyama nods, “He’s looking for new kneepads.”

 

“Oh, I see.” Kunimi picks up on of the volleyballs and rolls it across his palms. “How’s Karasuno? Are you getting along with your team?”

 

“Yes. What about Seijoh? How’s Oikawa-san?” Kageyama asks.

 

Kunimi laughs, “He’s the same as ever. All the third year's are really amazing. Me and Kindaichi have nothing against them.” Kunimi bites his lip, realizing he shouldn't have said that name.

 

“Oh. How’s Kindaichi-kun?” Kageyama tries to take deep breaths, even though his hands are fists at his sides. He can feel his heart start to pound in his chest, and his palms are uncomfortably sweaty; nothing like when he holds Hinata’s hand.

 

“He’s fine. He’s actually here with me--”

 

“Oi, Kunimi, I’m ready to go.”

 

The voice makes Kageyama’s chests feel tight, and breathing gets much more difficult.

 

“Oh, Kageyama,” Kindaichi smiles and Kageyama feels like he’s going to be sick. “It’s been a while. How are you?”

 

“I-I’’m good…” Kageyama he feels light-headed and dizzy; he thinks he might faint.

 

“What are you getting? New volleyball?” Kindaichi eyes the display, “Oh, this one looks nice.” He pulls out a black one and holds it out for Kageyama to take.

 

“He’s here with his teammate.” Kunimi takes the ball from Kindaichi’s hands and places it back on the rack. “Come on, let’s go.”

 

“But I want to talk to Kageyama more.” Kindaichi smirks, a hand on his hip. “How’s your dictatorship going, hm?”

 

“Kindaichi,” Kunimi warns, tugging at Kindaichi’s sleeve.

 

Kindaichi shakes him off, “I’m curious. Are they sick of you yet? Tired of you?”

 

“I-I don’t know,” Kageyama mumbles, bangs falling over his eyes as he stares at the floor.

 

“Mm, sounds like they are. That;s to be expected, you are a King after all.” Kindaichi shakes his head, “Old habits die hard I guess.”

 

Kageyama wants to run, but his legs feel heavy and he can’t bring his feet to move.

 

“What? Don’t you have anything to say? You’re really useless--”

 

“There you are, Kageyama! Geez, I don’t remember this store being so big…” Hinata walks over to Kageyama, freezing when he sees the two members of Seijoh. “Eeek!”. Hinata takes a look at Kageyama and he swears his heart stops; Kageyama looked so _scared_. Hinata had never seen him like this. Kageyama was always calm and collected, he was always strong and brave; even when they were losing in a game, Kageyama would hold it together until the very end.

 

“K-kageyama, are you okay?” Hinata tugs at Kageyama’s sleeve but Kageyama pulls his arm away and whimpers.

 

“Oh, I guess the King has found a Queen, hm?” Kindaichi teases. Kunimi elbows him the side, giving Kageyama an apologetic look.

 

“H-hey, Kageyama, let’s go! I got what I needed.” Hinata stutters, glaring at the two Seijoh members. For some reason Kageyama was upset; Hinata wanted to get him away from those two as quick as possible.  

 

Hinata tugs at Kageyama’s shirt again, “W-well, we’re leaving. Bye, Turnip head!  And the other Seijoh!”. Hinata manages to get Kageyama to exit the store, leaving the two behind.

 

“Turnip head?” Kindaichi asks, frowing.

 

“At least you have a nickname…” Kunimi sighs, dragging Kindaichi towards the register, “Come on, let’s go.”

  


///

  


“Kageyama, are you okay?” Hinata asks as soon as they exit the store, looking up at the taller boy with worry.

 

“Y-yeah, sorry.” Kageyama mumbles, staring at the ground.

 

Hinata hums, taking one of Kageyama’s hand in both of his, “Do you still want to go see the movie?” When Kageyama doesn’t answer, Hinata pinches his cheek,  “We can go to my house, it’s closeby.”

 

Kageyama nods curtly, “Thank you.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me, Bakeyama.” Hinata grins and starts to walk towards his house, tugging Kageyama along with him. “My mom makes really good curry!”

 

Hinata talks the entire way, and Kageyama doesn’t mind, finding solace in the warmth of Hinata’s voice, and in the warmth of Hinata’s hand around his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll try to update soon ! ive got a lot of tests coming up yikes but the climax is coming soon..pray for these babies 
> 
> as always, thank u for reading ! have a lovely day <3


	10. today has been ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It almost seems like a blur. Like everything that happened was a nightmare and sometimes I wake up and wonder whether any of it was real. But then I'll look in the mirror and I'll remember that it did happen. Kindaichi-kun was real and all the things he did and said were real."
> 
> (In which Kageyama opens his heart.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws chapter at u* *scurries back into hole to study for aps*

"Mom will be home in a little bit, we can wait in my room until then!"

 

Kageyama doesn't quite register the words that come out of Hinata's mouth; He's glancing around the room, in awe of how _ Hinata-like  _ everything is. Posters of the national volleyball team litter the walls and volleyball stickers are plastered on the ceiling. The wall above his desk has photos of his family, as well as a messy hand made poster that says "Pass all your exams! Make it to nationals!". Hinata's comforter is pale blue and his pillows are white; They remind Kageyama of the summer sky.

 

"Kageyama?" Hinata says, sitting on the bed with his legs crossed, "Would you like to sit?"

 

"Ah, okay." Kageyama mumbles, shuffling to where Hinata is. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed and stares at his feet, curling and uncurling his toes with unease.

 

"Can you look at me?" Hinata asks, his voice soft. 

 

The curtains are pulled packed and light from the setting sun streams in, highlighting the flecks of amber in Hinata's large brown eyes, and casting a glow around his bright hair.

 

In that moment, something about Hinata seemed ethereal. 

 

"Are you okay?" Hinata shuffles closer to Kageyama, his fingers wrapping around Kageyama's.

 

"I don't know." Kageyama answers honestly, looking away from Hinata, unable to bear the incredible light he seemed to give off.

 

"That's fine." Hinata smiles, giving Kageyama's hand a small squeeze. "Do you want to talk about it?"

 

Sugawara's words ring in his ears,  _ we all care, _ and Kageyama wonders how true that is.

 

"Do you care?" Kageyama mumbles, glancing to meet Hinata's eyes.

 

Hinata nods furiously, "Of course I do, idiot!". He gives Kageyama's hand another squeeze, "I-I'm sorry if I'm not the best at showing it, but I care a whole lot."

 

Kageyama lets out a small breathe, "Okay. I want to tell you."

 

Hinata nods and smiles encouragingly, "I'm all ears."

 

"When I was in junior high, Kindaichi-kun and I, erm, dated." Kageyama bites his lip anxiously.

 

"O-oh, okay." Hinata nods before making. face, "But he looks like a turnip! And he's such an asshole!"

 

Kageyama rolls his eyes and snickers, "I know, dumbass, I'm getting there."

 

Hinata sticks out his tongue, "Okay, okay."

 

"We dated pretty much all of junior high. At first, I really did love him, I think." Kageyama adds the 'I think' as an afterthought. He wasn't really certain of anything.

 

"I'm not sure when, but at some point, Kindaichi-kun changed. Something may have happened with his family, but I'm not sure. He..he would say things and do things that--that hurt me." Kageyama shivers, gritting his teeth. He's been trying to suppress everything for so long--

 

A sob in the room that does not belong to Kageyama makes his eyes widen with surprise, "Hinata, are you crying?"

 

"N-no." Hinata sniffles, "I-I'm not--"

 

"You are." Kageyama states, staring accusingly at the tears falling out of Hinata's eyes.

 

"N-no..." Hinata protests, rubbing his eyes with his hands, wiping away the pools of water.

 

"Hinata." Kageyama sighs, "You're clearly crying."

 

"I'm not!" Hinata huffs, looking away from Kageyama.

 

"Dumbass, why are you crying?" Kageyama frowns, biting his lip. Did he do something wrong again?

 

"I'm just angry." Hinata mumbles, burying his face into Kageyama's side.

 

"Why?" Kageyama asks. "Is it my fault?"

 

"No!" Hinata exclaims, shaking his head.

 

"I just...I don't know!" Hinata sighs, "I think...maybe it's because you've been so sad and I haven't done anything to help, I just got mad at you, and now I'm mad at myself."

 

Kageyama sighs again, "Dumbass."

 

"What?!" Hinata huffs, looking up to meet the dark blue of Kageyama's eyes.

 

"You're helping now." Kageyama tells him, nudging Hinata's leg with his toe.

 

"Barely..." Hinata mumbles.

 

"Would you like to know more?" Kageyama asks.

 

"If...if you're okay with it." 

 

"I am. I trust you." Kageyama is surprised at his own words. He's always hated the word trust, it seemed too heavy to just throw it around; what exactly was trust anyway? The willingness to put your life in someone else's hands? No, not quite. It was more like believing that even if you died, it was never their fault.

 

"I thought everything he ever did was out of love. I thought all of it, the harsh words and beatings, was perfectly normal. I couldn't talk to my mother because she would kick me out of the house if she knew I was gay. The only upperclassmen I could talk to was Iwaizumi-san, but Oikawa-san would never let me be alone with him. When Kunimi-kun found out, he told me that it wasn't normal, but I still couldn't end things with him. It wasn't until graduation that I told him I was done. We were going to go to separate schools. I wouldn't have to be near him.

 

I believe neither of us was good for the other. I allowed him to be that way, and he made me this way. Someone like Kunimi was probably much more suited for him.

 

It almost seems like a blur. Like everything that happened was a nightmare and sometimes I wake up and wonder whether any of it was real. But then I'll look in the mirror and I'll remember that it did happen. Kindaichi-kun was real and all the things he did and said were real.

 

I regret so much, Hinata, and I don't know what to feel. I'm afraid and I want to be okay. I want to trust the others and I want to love them but I'm not sure how." Kageyama squeezes his eyes, his breathing ragged. 

 

"Kageyama," Hinata says breathlessly, moving onto Kageyama's lap. He brings his hands up to Kageyama's cheeks and holds his face in them. "You will be okay. I promise."

 

"How do you know---"

 

"You can trust me. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, okay? We all do, and we all want you to be okay." Hinata smiles, bright and warm and kind--

 

"You're not any of the things he called you. You're perfect the way you are. I love you because you are you." Hinata kisses the tip of Kageyama's nose. "It's going to be okay."

 

Kageyama's chest feels heavy and suddenly he's sobbing into Hinata's shoulder. Hinata wraps his arms around Kageyama, biting his lips to avoid crying himself. He would be strong if Kageyama needed him to be.

 

“Thank you,” Kageyama mumbles, the flow of tears slowing down.

 

“You don’t have to thank me. I care about you, so I want you to know you’ll be okay.” Hinata grins, ruffling Kageyama’s hair. “You know, you should trim your bangs. Maybe people wouldn’t think you’re scary if they saw your eyes.” 

 

Kageyama tugs at his fringe, “You think so?”

 

Hinata grins and nods, “Yup!”

 

The front door slams open and Hinata smiles at the voices, 

 

"Shouyou! We're home!"

 

"Nii-san, nii-san, we bought meat buns!"

 

"Looks like my mom and sister are home. You're staying for dinner, right?" Hinata grins. 

 

"If that's okay with you." Kageyama mumbles. His own mother probably wasn't home yet, and even if she was, he doubts she would notice he was missing.

 

"How about you wash up in the bathroom? I'll go talk to my mom!" Hinata smiles, kissing Kageyama's cheek before standing up.

 

Kageyama nods, standing wearily and making his way to the bathroom. The walls are yellow, but not overbearingly bright. It’s calming;

 

Kageyama takes a few breathes. 

 

He would be okay. 

 

///

 

“Who are you?”

 

Kageyama gulps as he comes face to face with a shorter, more feminine version of Hinata. 

 

“K-kageyama, Kageyama Tobio.” Kageyama rubs the back of his neck nervously, unsure of what to say or do. 

 

The child looks up at him with curious eyes before suddenly nodding, “You’re Nii-chan’s teammate! He always talks about you!” She giggles, “You’re not as scary as he says you are.”

 

“Idiot…” Kageyama grumbles, frowning. 

 

Kageyama feels a slight tug at his sleeve and looks down to see the small Hinata pulling on his hand. “Tobio-nii-san, let’s go eat!”

 

He allows himself to be pulled into the dining room, glaring at Hinata who laughs when he sees Natsu with him. 

 

“I see you’ve met Natsu.” An unfamiliar voice catches Kageyama off guard, and he turns to see it belongs to a pretty woman with the same color hair as Hinata. 

 

“P-pardon the intrusion. It’s nice to meet you, Hinata-san.” Kageyama bows his head and Hinata snorts.

 

“Oh my, what good manners. My Shouyou could learn a thing or two from you.” She laughs and Kageyama thinks it sounds like the wind chimes his grandmother always puts up in the summer. “Please, call me Aki.” 

 

“Thank you, Aki-san.” Kageyama does his best to smile and Hinata laughs again. . 

 

“He’s not well mannered at all, mom, he’s just pretending.” Hinata sticks out his tongue and dodges when Kageyama tries to flick his forehead. 

 

“Don't fight now, let’s eat dinner. Natsu, did you set the table?” Aki goes back to cooking and Kageyama follows Hinata to the table. 

 

“I did, I did!” Natsu exclaims, following her brother. “Can I sit in the big chair?”

 

“You’ll fall out.” Hinata says, ruffling her hair. 

 

“But..but..I wanna sit with Nii-chan and Tobio-nii-san.” Natsu sniffles and Hinata sighs, picking her up easily and kissing her wet cheek. 

 

“Okay, okay, you can sit in the big chair.” Hinata places her in one of the large wooden chairs around the table, making sure she’s settled before sitting in his own seat next to Kageyama. Kageyama finds himself smiling at the exchange. 

 

Aki comes out shortly after that with a pot of curry and rice. She glances at Natsu and sighs before staring accusingly at Hinata, who just grins before filling his plate with food. 

 

“Shouyou has always had a soft spot for his little sister.” Aki chuckles, ruffling her daughter’s hair. “I don’t blame him, my little Natsu is a cutie.”

 

Natsu huffs and puffs out her cheeks, “I’m not cute! I’m cool!”

 

Aki laughs, kissing Natsu’s head before taking the seat next to her. “Oh, right, how could I forget? You’re the coolest person I know.”

 

Hinata’s ears perk at that and he huffs quietly. Kageyama chuckles under his breath. 

 

“So, Kageyama-kun, what do your parents do for a living?” Aki asks, helping Natsu get rice onto her plate. 

 

“Um, my mother is an researcher. She primarily works with organic materials.” Kageyama mumbles around a mouthful of rice.

 

“How fascinating! I’m just a boring old nursery school teacher.” Aki chuckles, “I do love my job, though.”

 

Kageyama nods. He could definitely see that. 

 

“Is your father also a researcher?” Aki asks, wiping away curry on the side of Natsu’s face.

 

“He--he’s an engineer. Although he doesn’t live with us anymore.” Kageyama pokes at the food on his plate, his appetite dwindling. 

 

Hinata notices this and lightly kicks his mother under the table, glaring at her. 

 

“Oh, I see.” Aki glares back at her son. “My husband was a doctor before he passed. He was a pediatrician, gosh, he loved helping kids.” She smiles fondly. 

 

Hinata rolls his eyes, “Mom loves to talk about him.”

 

“That’s nice.” Kageyama says, nodding. He didn’t know that Hinata’s father had passed away. 

 

“The kids were young when it happened so they didn’t know him that well. Although, I remember, he once tried to get Shouyou to start playing soccer.” She chuckles, “Honestly,  before junior high, he had no interest in sports. I’m glad he has volleyball now.” 

 

Kageyama stares at Hinata, who kicks him under the table. “I can’t imagine him playing anything else.” Kageyama states. 

 

Aki laughs, “All he ever talks about is volleyball and how much he loves it and how much he loves your team.”

 

“Shut up, mom.” Hinata huffs, his cheeks turning pink.

 

“Now, now, don’t get feisty.” Aki smiles, “It’s my job to embarrass you.”

 

The rest of dinner consists of small talk, and once Natsu begins to fall asleep at the table, Aki tells the boys to head to sleep. 

 

“It’s too late to head home, please stay the night, Kageyama-kun.” She had said. “Shouyou can pull out a futon.”

 

“Oh, mom, by the way…” Hinata blushes a little and glances at Kageyama quickly before looking at his mom. “Kageyama isn’t just my teammate or friend, he’s--”

 

“Geez, how thick do you think I am?” Aki laughs, ruffling her son’s hair. “I know, I know. Don’t get up to any shenanigans, you hear me?”

 

“Mom!” Hinata groans, but laughs anyway. He kisses his mother on the cheek and says goodnight before turning to go upstairs. 

 

“U-um, I promise to take good care of your son!” Kageyama stutters, a little shocked at how easily Hinata had told his mother they were dating. 

 

Aki smiles, “I know you will.” She gives Kageyama a kiss on the cheek before shooing him upstairs. “And if you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to ask, okay?”

 

“Thank you, Aki-san. Goodnight.” Kageyama bows his head slightly before following after Hinata. 

 

“Kageyama!” Hinata jumps onto him as soon as he enters the room, kissing his forehead sloppily. 

 

“Idiot..” Kageyama mumbles, bending forward a bit so that their foreheads touch once Hinata’s feet are back on the ground. 

 

“I hope you don’t mind me telling my mom…” Hinata mumbles,looking off to the side, his cheeks slowly dusting pink.

 

“No, it’s fine.” Kageyama smiles, wrapping his arms around Hinata’s back. 

 

“You’re being awfully affectionate,” Hinata murmurs into Kageyama’s chest, his own arms winding around Kageyama’s midsection. 

 

Kageyama buries his face in Hinata’s hair and mumbles something incoherently. 

 

“What was that?” Hinata pulls his face away from Kageyama to look up at him. 

 

“I said, ‘I love you’”. Kageyama says, his cheeks bright red. 

 

“O-oh.” Hinata laughs, “I love you, too.” Hinata gets on his toes and kisses Kageyama's lips, smiling into the kiss. 

  
He can feel Kageyama smiling back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u all liked this fluff its abt to get rough  
> also i have no idea when the next update will be thank u all for bearing w me and my completely random updates ily  
> if u wanna yell at me im at <http://spacey-bun.tumblr.com/>
> 
> thank u for reading !


	11. talking bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And you're kept in an open cage_   
>  _So you're free to leave or stay._   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahah

Sugawara tells Hinata that, with time, Kageyama will get better. He will be more open to talking about what happened between him and Kindaichi, and he will not be afraid of letting people love him. 

 

They keep it a secret; Sugawara says there really is no reason to tell the team about Kageyama’s situation, since there was no real danger. He suggest pulling Kageyama from their next game with Aoba Jousai, but Hinata tells him that Kageyama would never agree. 

 

Hinata finds that Kageyama is more motivated than before. He’s fully returned to practice and stays late, Hinata and Yachi staying with him. He and Hinata practice their quick, and Kageyama doesn’t get frustrated when Hinata makes a mistake. Hinata thinks that’s strange, but doesn’t say anything. 

 

In fact, Kageyama is a lot more docile than before. To be fair, the only people Kageyama ever snapped at were Tsushima and Hinata, but now there were no quarrels amongst the first year. Nishinoya asked Hinata about it, but Hinata just shrugged, unsure of why his boyfriend was acting this way. 

 

As the preliminaries for the Spring High tournament approached, practices grew longer.  No one complained; Kageyama and Hinata found their rhythm, and their quicks grew faster, more precise. In a few days, Kageyama had returned to his usual snappy self, although his bite lacked bark, and most of his arguments with Hinata ended in laughter. 

 

(On Hinata’s side at least; Kageyama only ever smiled.)

 

The matches leading up to the semis pass in a blur, and somehow, they make it. 

 

(“Not ‘somehow’”, Daichi says, “We’ve all worked hard, and these wins are proof of that.”)

 

When they walk onto the court for the game against Aoba Jousai, Hinata glances at Kageyama, trying to read his body language. He was tense, but then again, they all were. He supposes even Kageyama gets nervous before big matches. Kageyama doesn’t meet any of his former teammates eyes, choosing to stare at the bleachers, gaze unfocused. 

 

Hinata slams every ball Kageyama tosses at him, but every block, every recieve, makes his heart twitch. Daichi reassures them, says they’re getting more points with his spikes then losing, but Hinata isn’t so sure.

 

It’s when they have  _ that  _ quick, the one where Hinata is flying and Kageyama is his wings, that he knows. He knows when the ball slams into the ground next to Kindaichi; when his feet touch the ground and Kageyama stares at him, eyes wide and grin plastered to his face, that he knows;

Together, they are invincible. 

The match lasts three sets, but it feels like it flew by in a matter of moments. Before they know it, the crowd is cheering, and the team on the other side of the net look defeated, solemn grimaces from the third years, tears from the first. 

 

The team jumps on Hinata, upperclassmen ruffling his hair and Hinata is  _ shining _ , and Kageyama can’t look away. He smiles at them, smiles at how they’re laughing makes his heart thrum because yes, he was a part of that, he was a reason behind those smiles and laughs. 

 

“Nice job,” Sugawara grins, patting Kageyama on the back as he runs to join the team, huddled around Hinata.

 

Kageyama nods, feeling a warmth spread through his chest as he follows Sugawara to join the team--

 

_ his team _ .

 

The upperclassmen mess up his hair, Nishinoya even going as far to climb onto Kageyama’s back, despite Kageyama's protests. Asahi pulls Nishinoya off, apologizing in his place before pulling Kageyama in for a one-arm hugged, mumbling a thank you in his ear. Daichi pats him on the back, telling him what a great job he did, and Kageyama is sure that Daichi mentioned something about how much practice he knows Kageyama put in but Kageyama doesn't quite hear the words because he's focused on something, rather someone, across the net. 

 

Kindaichi stares at him with wides eyes, still red from tears. He’s frowning, and Kageyama bite his lips, almost afraid of what Kindaichi is feeling. 

 

But then, the frown goes away and the expression is replaced with an look of yearning, and Kindaichi mouths two words that make Kageyama's heart stop. 

 

_ “You win,” _

 

“We did it, Kageyama!” Hinata jumps up in down in front of Kageyama, grinning, “We beat them!”

 

Kageyama looks down at the boy, nodding, a small smile on his face, “Yeah, we did.”

 

Hinata continues jumping excitedly, only stopping when Daichi announces that it’s time to line up. Kageyama is facing Kindaichi, who nods in acknowledgment. 

 

On their way out of the gym, Hinata grabs his hand, and before Kageyama can hiss the words “we’re in public”, Hinata shakes his head and says “I don’t care.”

 

Nishinoya whistles and Tanaka lets out a whoop; Sugawara berates them for being too loud, while smiling kindly at the two first years. Daichi chuckles, patting both on the head, and Tsushima rolls his eyes, while Yamaguchi giggles, silently congratulating them.

 

(For the first time in a while, Kageyama does not feel alone.)

 

“Let’s get some food and then come back to see the next match,” Daichi says, heading towards the cafeteria. 

 

“Yessir!” Tanaka and Nishinoya salute before running ahead, Hinata quickly following behind them; Asahi chases after them, telling them to keep it down.  

 

Kageyama notices Aoba Jousai packing up their bags and swallows nervously, “Um, I’m going to run to the bathroom.”

 

Sugawara nods, “Meet us in the cafeteria, okay? And keep your phone on.”

 

Kageyama agrees, bowing his head before running off towards the bathroom. He hides behind a pillar until he sees Daichi and Sugawara disappear from sight. Once they’re gone, Kageyama tiptoes towards Aoba Jousai, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

 

He really had no idea what he was doing, whether he wanted to say something or have Kindaichi apologize. He just felt like they had to say something, like they had to discuss how much Kindaichi hurt him; how much he messed him up. He sees Oikawa and Iwaizumi and walks over to them, nervously pulling on his sleeves as he died.

 

“Oh, Tobio-chan!” Oikawa smiles, clearly forced. His eyes are swollen and red. Iwaizumi stands next to him, eyebrows furrowed as he stares at his captain with concern. 

 

“Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san,” Kageyama nods at them, biting his lip nervously. “I--um, uh…”

 

Iwaizumi sighs, “Yes?”

 

“Thank you.” Kageyama spits out, his face turning red with embarrassment.

 

“W-what?” Oikawa looks baffled, his eyes wide with confusion. 

 

“For everything you did for me. Because of you, I’ve come this far. I am grateful you were my senpai in junior high. Thank you.” Kageyama mumbles, head tilted downwards, facing the floor. 

 

Oikawa chuckles, running a hand through his curls, “Of course, Tobio-chan, you’re welcome.”

 

Iwaizumi smiles, shaking his head, “You're going to make a lot of people proud some day, Tobio, us included.”

“T-thank you.” Kageyama stutters, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“And, we’re sorry.” Iwaizumi mutters, “That we couldn’t see or stop what Kindaichi was doing.”

 

Kageyama shakes his head, “It’s okay, now.”

 

Iwaizumi smiles again, “I’m glad to see you seem to have found your place at Karasuno.”

 

“Me too,” Kageyama mumbles, smiling slightly.

 

“Oi, Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-senpai, the bus is leaving soon!”

 

The third years give Kageyama one more congratulations before saying goodbye, wishing him luck in the finals. 

 

Kageyama is about to head to the cafeteria when he hears someone call his name. He knows exactly who it is, but still hesitates in turning around. 

 

“Your bus is leaving.” Kageyama states, looking anywhere but at Kindaichi. 

 

“It’ll take a while for everyone to load up.” Kindaichi says, taking a step towards Kageyama. “Come with me for a second, Kageyama.”

 

Every inch of Kageyama is screaming no, telling him not to follow, but Kageyama finds his feet carrying him anyway; he supposes he did want to talk to Kindaichi, but there’s still fear in his gut. 

 

(but apparently not enough to stop himself from following the boy.) 

 

Kageyama doesn't realize they’re in a bathroom until he’s in a stall, doesn’t realize Kindaichi is punching him until there's blood running down his face, mixed with salty tears, and he doesn't realize how much it hurts until the pain hits him, like ten thousand volleyballs to the face; he wants to scream but no words come out. 

 

How did Kindaichi still have this influence on him?

 

What feels like hours later, Kindaichi stops, his breathing ragged as he leans over Kageyama. 

 

“I’m sorry,” He murmurs, bending down to kiss Kageyama gently, “I’m sorry.”

 

Kageyama doesn't notice Kindaichi leave, he’s in too much pain; he feels everything and nothing and he wants to die, right there on the bathroom floor. 

 

Rationally, he knows he won’t die, but still, he thinks about HInata, wonders what he'd do if he found his body, wonder how mad he’d be at Kindaichi, wonders if he tried to hurt Kindaichi too. 

 

Kageyama sees sunshine, sees rays of light streaming through a window, sees a blinding smile and bright amber eyes--

 

And then he sees nothing.

  
  


///

 

“What do you mean he went to the bathroom?” Hinata huffs, stuffing his face with rice. 

 

“It has been a while…” Sugawara mumbles with concern.

 

“I’ll go check on him.” Hinata states, wiping his face before standing up. He puts on his jacket and runs out of the cafeteria, following the signs to the bathroom. 

 

There’s already a large crowd of people there and Hinata can feel his heart sinking. He shoves past all of them, his heart racing in his chest, pounding in his ears--

 

_ No, no, no, please, let him be okay _ \---

 

Nurses are huddled around a body on the floor, whispering quietly, treating the boy who’s passed out in front of them and--

 

_ It’s Kageyama.  _

 

Hinata feels his hearts stop.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp i am rlly sorry for my long absence! im also sorry this chapter is so short aaaah but BAm things are happening lets all pray for kageyama yeah hes not dead dont worry i wouldnt do tht to u 
> 
> thank u for reading ! i promise i will not take 3 months to get the next chapter to u! we're nearing the end everyone, i can feel it!


	12. to see you alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _what a beautiful sight, to see you alive_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hAHAH its been less than a month.. i think..anyway enjoy this chappie! we're getting to the end people!

Hinata bites his lips, knees pulled up to this chest as he rocks back and forth on the waiting room chair. The doctors had assured the team that Kageyama’s injuries were nothing serious, that he had lost a lot of blood but he would be okay, and that Kageyama just needed to rest, so they wouldn't allow visitors till the next morning. Sugawara had told Hinata to go home and rest, but Hinata insisted he would stay until the morning, in case Kageyama got any worse. Kageyama’s parents had been called, and his mother said she would come in the next day to check on him. 

 

Hinata ends up falling asleep in the chair, if waking up periodically, terrified and worried if Kageyama was okay it could even be called sleep. It’s around seven am when the nurse comes out and tells Hinata he can come see Kageyama if he stays quiet. 

 

Hinata is nervous as he follows the nurse into Kageyama’s room but he lets out a relieved sigh when he sees Kageyama sitting up in bed, groggily staring at Hinata as he enters. 

 

Hinata is surprised to see someone else in the room. He recognizes her because she shares has the same dark hair and eyes as her son. 

 

“Kageyama-san?” Hinata stares at her blankly. 

 

“Oh, you must be Hinata…” She bites her lip, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

 

“Why are you here,” He says flatly. He had heard many things about her, none of them good. 

 

“I came to see my son.” She says quietly, “Though I could understand why you would not want me here.”

 

“Ya think?” Hinata crosses his arms, huffing. 

 

Kageyama’s mother stands, kissing her sleepy and disgruntled son on the forehead before walking past Hinata, exiting the room. “Thank you for taking care of my son.”

 

Hinata glares at her as she walks down the hallway. He was far from forgiving that woman for what she put Kageyama through. 

 

Hinata redirects his attention to the boy in the hospital bed.  “Kageyama!” he exclaims, almost running at the boy. 

 

“Shh!” The nurse holds a finger to her lips, scolding Hinata.

 

“Right, right, sorry.” Hinata smiles sheepishly before shuffling over to Kageyama’s side, quickly finding his hand and holding it in his.  

 

“‘m sorry,” Kageyama mumbles, not meeting Hinata eyes. 

 

“What??” Hinata sputters, staring wide eyed at Kageyama, “Why are you apologizing?”

 

“Don’t know…” Kageyama huffs quietly. Hinata looks to the nurse who just shrugs. 

 

“He might still be a little loopy because of the painkillers.” She says, “If you need anything, press that button.” She points to a red button above Kageyama’s bed before leaving the room. 

 

Hinata pulls a chair up besides Kageyama’s bed so he can sit while holding the other’s hand. Kageyama is tired, Hinata can tell, but he’s breathing, and that was more than enough for him. 

 

“I’m gonna kill Kindaichi,” Hinata mutters, squeezing Kageyama’s hand. He lets out a surprised squeak when he feels Kageyama using his thumb to rub circles into his pal. 

 

Kageyama smiles at him a little weakly, and Hinata’s heart skips a beat. 

 

“‘s okay,” Kageyama murmurs, yawing, “Thank you.”

 

Hinata buries his head into Kageyama’s side, not wanting the other to see him crying, “Stupid Kageyama...”

 

Kageyama uses his free hand to ruffle Hinata’s hair, allowing his fingers to card through the soft orange locks. Before long, Hinata is asleep, and Kageyama follows suit. 

 

///

 

“They’re so cute,”

 

“Quick, take a picture!”

 

“Noya! You’re making Asahi nervous.”

 

“I-I’m not nervous.”

 

“I feel embarrassed for them.”

 

Hinata opens his eyes to see his team standing around the room; Nishinoya with his phone in his hand, Tanaka right beside him, wide grins on both of their faces. Daichi is scolding Nishinoya while Sugawara smiles at the two sleeping first years, finding his underclassmen to be endearing. Asahi watches nervously, afraid that they’ll wake up the two sleeping bodies. Even Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are there, laughing quietly at the scene in front of them. 

 

Hinata sits up groggily, rubbing his eyes. He realizes that he’s still holding Kageyama’s hand and he quickly lets go, blushing. Kageyama wakes up from the movement, yawning as he blinks his eyes open. 

 

“Huh?” Kageyama looks around the room, “Why is everyone here?”

 

Sugawara walks over and ruffles Kageyama’s hair, smiling, “We wanted to make sure our setter was alright.”

 

“Your crazy boyfriend spent the entire night,” Tsukishima snickers, nodding his head towards Hinata, whose cheeks are a bright shade of red. 

 

Before Hinata can protest, Yamaguchi looks at him fondly and laughs lightly, “It’s kinda obvious, Hinata-kun.”

 

“Oh,” Hinata says quietly, staring at the hospital floor. He fiddles with his fingers nervously, unable to suppress the smile that spread wide across his cheeks. The team knew, and they didn’t care. 

 

“We’re happy to see you’re doing well.” Daichi looks at Kageyama and smiles, “You gave us a scare.”

 

“Sorry…” Kageyama mumbles, tucking himself deeper into the thin blankets thrown on top of him. Hinata bites the inside of his cheek nervously, reaching towards Kageyama and giving his hand a quick squeeze. 

 

“Hey, none of this is your fault.” Sugawara reminds him, the calm smile on his face treasures Kageyama. 

 

“The doctor said you can’t do any physical activity for at least a week, so you’ll be able to play in the finals!” Nishinoya exclaim giddily, grabbing Kageyama’s arm. Asahi stands beside the excited Nishinoya, smiling gently at Kageyama. 

 

“No pushing yourself, though.” Sugawara says, giving both Hinata and Kageyama a pointed look. The two first years glance at each other before facing Sugawara and nodding. 

 

Daichi shares a look with Sugawara before nodding to the rest of the team, “Let’s go grab lunch, sound good?”

 

“Leave the two lovebirds alone~” Tanak whistles, earning him a glare from Daichi and a nervous glance from Asahi. 

 

The team filters out, leaving just Hinata and Kageyama. 

 

“Hey, Kageyama--”

 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Kageyama grumbles. 

 

“I love you.” Hinata states, looking at Kageyama earnestly. Kageyama feels his heart thump in his chest.

 

“I..me too,” Kageyama stares at Hinata’s hand before grabbing it, “I love you, too.”

 

Hinata grins, throwing his arms around Kageyama. “I was so scared! I swear, I’m gonna beat the living daylights out of Kindaichi-kun…”

 

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” Kageyama mutters, “Please, don’t.”

 

Hinata gives Kageyama a wide eyed look before sighing, leaning forward so their foreheads touch, “Fine.”

 

Kageyama’s cheeks are dusted pink when he replies, “Good.”

 

Hinata smiles, leaning in a little more to close the gap between them. Kageyama closes his eyes and hums quietly into the kiss.

 

When they pull apart, Hinata is grinning, absolutely glowing, and Kageyama can’t fight back the smile that finds it’s way onto his face.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!   
> (talk to me @ bun-html.tumblr.com ! )


	13. i believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t fair; Kageyama didn’t deserve anything less than the best. It was because of people like Kindaichi that Kageyama was so scared to trust now. Hinata hated that, he wishes there was a way to go back in time and make sure Kageyama was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am sorry at the distinct lack of kagehina fluff in this chapter  
> it hasnt been a month, haha! theres some hompohobia in this chapter!

Kageyama is released later that day, with strict orders from the doctor to rest for a week. Hinata is there, holding Kageyama’s hand as his mother finishes filling out paperwork. Hinata still didn’t trust Kageyama’s mom, despite her words from earlier. 

 

_ “Mom?” Kageyama blinks blearily, staring at the woman in the doorway. Hinata lifts his head from the bed, unaware of when he even fell asleep. The jolt of pain in his lower back as he sits up in his chair tells him it’s been a few hours.  _

 

_ “Tobio,” The woman smiles gently at him, taking a few steps towards the bed, “Are you alright?” _

 

_ Hinata huffs quietly, “Like you care.” _

 

_ Kageyama squeezes Hinata’s hand, lowering his gaze to their interlocked fingers, “I‘m fine.” _

 

_ “I’m sorry.” She mumbles, slowly approaching Kageyama. She lifts a hand and brushes Kageyama’s bangs to the side. “The doctor said you can come home now.” _

 

_ Kageyama fidgets at the touch and Hinata uses all of his self control not to slap her hand away.  _

 

_ “Don’t touch him.” Hinata hisses, glaring up at her. Some part of Hinata blamed Kageyama’s mom for everything that happened. If she had noticed, if she had cared, if she hadn’t brushed her son off as an insult to her family-- _

 

_ “Hinata-kun,” Kageyama’s mother takes a deep breath, “I regret a lot.” _

 

_ Hinata narrows his eyes, suspicion evident in the glance he gives her.  _

 

_ “After Yukio--erm, Tobio’s father left, I was mad. I thought it was all Tobio’s fault. He was a difficult child and Yukio couldn’t love him like I did.” She twirls a piece of her hair nervously, “What I did to Tobio can’t be forgiven. I allowed for this to happen.” She bites her lips, staring at her son with a fondness that makes Hinata frown. “I love my son, Hinata-kun, don’t forget that.” _

 

_ “Love him?” Hinata grimaced, his grip on Kageyama tightening, “That’s a lie.” _

 

_ “You can’t understand a mother’s love for her son, Hinata-kun.” Her eyes darken for a moment and the kindness in her smile is gone.  _

 

_ “If you loved him, why didn’t you tell him it was okay?” Hinata bites the inside of his cheek. _

 

_ “What? Tell him it was okay to like boys?” She hisses, “I could never.” _

 

_ “You don’t love him, Kageyama-san.” Hinata shakes his head, “You’re the worst.” _

 

_ Kageyama’s mother slumps down into the chair besides Kageyama’s bed, burying her head in her hands. Hinata is a little surprised at the sudden movement and Kageyama is staring at him with wide eyes.  _

 

_ “It isn’t okay.” She mumbles, barely coherent, “But I want to love him. How can I do that?” _

 

_ Before Hinata can say anything, Kageyama lifts his free hand, placing it on her mother’s lap. She looks up at him, eyes brimming with tears.  _

 

_ “Tobio,” _

 

_ “I love Shouyou.” Kageyama says it confidently, says it like he’s saying he loves volleyball, but Hinata can see the tips of his ears turning pink.  _

 

_ Kageyama’s mom looks at her son and then to Hinata. The shorter boy does his best to smile at her, despite the anger brewing inside of him. _

 

_ “If you want to love me, you have to love that part of me too.” Kageyama says quietly. “Or don’t love me at all.” _

 

_ “Okay, Tobio.” She says, taking his hand in hers, “I will try. For you.” _

 

She had sounded sincere, but Hinata didn’t believe her. He knows it’ll take Kageyama a long time to trust her, too. 

 

She offers to drive him home, but Hinata insists on walking, saying he has something to do. Kageyama narrows his eyes at this but Hinata just sticks out his tongue, waving goodbye and telling Kageyama he’ll see him tomorrow. 

 

Hinata walks to the bus stop, humming to himself as he waits. Once the bus rolls up he climbs on, plopping himself down on a seat and taking out his phone. He gets off the bus thirty minutes later, thanking the driver as he hops off. 

 

According to the map on his phone, his destination is a short five minute walk from the bus stop. He swallows his nerves and hums as he walks, ignoring the growing clamminess of his palm and his steadily increasing heart rate.

 

When he walks on the campus of Aoba Jousai he can practically hear his heart beating in his head. He isn’t sure what he was going to do or say, but he knew he had to come here. He sees the gymnasium and runs to it, checking his phone for the time. Class had ended a little over an hour ago, meaning practice had already started. He peers into the gym, silently thanking his mother for calling his school and saying he was ill and wouldn't be there today. 

 

“Hey, it’s Chibi-chan~!” 

 

Hinata nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears Oikawa’s voice from behind him. Iwaizumi is beside him, a somewhat surprised expression on his face.

 

“Karasuno’s number ten? What are you doing here?” Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow and Hinata swallows nervously. 

 

“U-um, my name’s Hinata Shouyou!” He yells, hoping his loudness overshadows his nervousness, “I’m here about K-kindaichi.”

 

Oikawa’s eyes widen before he smiles, small and sheepish, shaking his head, “He’s been suspended.”

 

Hinata squints at Oikawa, “huh?”

 

“We know what he did, Hinata-kun.” Iwaizumi sighs, shaking his head. “The school suspended him for a week and he’s suspended from the team for a month.”

 

“Oh,” Hinata stares at the ground, frowning. “Only a week?”

 

“Kindaichi’s parents have a lot of influence.” Iwaizumi frowns, sighing. “We're sorry we couldn't do more.”

 

“I spoke with Kin-chan.” Oikawa hums, stepping towards Hinata, “He says he regrets his decisions.”

 

“That doesn’t matter! He hurt Kageyama!” Hinata shouts, his hands tightly clenched into fists at his sides. He was sick of people saying they regretted hurting Kageyama. It wasn’t fair; Kageyama didn’t deserve anything less than the best. It was because of people like Kindaichi that Kageyama was so scared to trust now. Hinata hated that, he wishes there was a way to go back in time and make sure Kageyama was happy. 

 

Oikawa raises his hand, resting it on Hinata's shoulder, “Chibi-chan~”

 

“My name’s Hinata!” 

 

Oikawa giggles, “Okay, Hinata-chan,” Hinata grumbles at the new nickname, “How about this? Kindaichi will apologize to Tobio-chan. You and I will both be there. It’ll give Tobio-chan some closure, don’t you think?”

 

Hinata thinks for a moment; would it give Kageyama closure? Or was Kageyama better off never seeing Kindaichi again? 

 

“No,” Hinata decides, “Not yet, at least. Kageyama isn’t ready for that.”

 

“Hmm,” Iwaizumi hums, smiling a little, “I agree with the shrimp.”

 

Hinata huffs, figuring arguing anymore was futile. 

 

“If you’re sure, Hinata-chan.” Oikawa moves his hand to ruffle Hinata's hair. 

 

“I’m sure.” Hinata states, nodding.

 

Oikawa shrugs, “Alright, Chibi-chan. Suit yourself~”. Oikawa head into the gym, turning around briefly to stick out his tongue, “Tell Tobio-chan we’ll beat you guys next time!”

 

“We’re unstoppable!” Hinata yells back, grumbling when Oikawa disappears into the gym.

 

Iwaizumi chuckles, “We aren’t about to give up.”

 

“Neither are we!” Hinata grins, pointing up at Iwaizumi, “We’ll beat you guys again and again!”

 

Iwaizumi smiles, a twinkle in his dark eyes, “I wish you luck, Hinata-kun,”

 

“Hah, you're the ones who need luck.” Hinata sticks out his tongue and Iwaizumi runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head, mumbling something about how the shrimp was turning into Oikawa. 

 

“Take care of Tobio,” Iwaizumi says, “I regret not being able to.”

 

Hinata nods, finding some peace in the words Iwaizumi says, “I will.”

 

Iwaizumi waves as he walks into the gym, yelling something loudly as he does, most likely directed at Oikawa. 

 

He hadn’t gotten to beat up Kindaichi, or even see him and tell him off, but he feels like things are finally going to be alright. Kageyama was waiting for him back at Karasuno and Hinata would do everything in his power to make sure no one would hurt Kageyama again. 

  
Hinata’s heart feels a lot less heavy as he walks back to the bus stop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as u can see, there is only more chapter left. it will be completely fluff. as always, thank u for reading!


	14. wonderwall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata thinks kissing Kageyama is a lot like volleyball. It's thrilling, his heart is racing, but he still feels at peace. It's the same feeling when Kageyama tosses and Hinata swings his arm, wildly but with aim, and the ball slams into the court. The way his palm stings pleasantly and Kageyama grins at him; It feels so natural and Hinata loves it.

Hinata hums as he bikes to Kageyama's house, carefully to avoid any bumps in the road. It had only been a day since Hinata had seen him, but it felt like much more.

 

Despite only being there a few times, Hinata knows exactly how to get to Kageyama's. His mom had teased him; His terrible sense of direction didn't seem to apply where Kageyama was concerned.

 

The large house seems to loom a little less than it did before as Hinata rests his bike on the gate. He skips up to the entrance, a small brown bag in his arms. Before he can ring the doorbell, the door swings open. Kageyama stands in the entrance, a deep red flushing his cheeks.

 

"Hi." Kageyama looks flustered, and Hinata quickly realizes that Kageyama had been waiting for him. 

 

Hinata stares at Kageyama for a moment before laughing, using the doorway to support himself as he doubles over with laughter, "Hey, Kageyama-kun."

 

Kageyama huffs, stepping out of the entrance and letting Hinata enter. The shorter boy hums, handing the bag to Kageyama as he toes off his shoes.

 

"Biscuits. From my mom." Hinata smiles at the fond expression on Kageyama's face.

 

"Thank you," Kageyama walks toward the kitchen and Hinata follows, mumbling a quiet 'pardon the intrusion'.

 

"Is your mom--"

 

"She's not home." Kageyama says, setting the bag down on the counter. "I made tea."

 

Hinata hums, walking up next to Kageyama, "Okay." He gets on his toes and plants a kiss on Kageyama's cheek, laughing when the taller boy sputters.

 

"Y-you! You can't just do that!"

 

"Ohoho, but I just did."

 

Hinata laughs when Kageyama tries to grab his shirt. He scrambles away, running through the living room as Kageyama chases him.

 

Hinata turns around to stick out his tongue, but trips over the coffee table as he does. He falls flat on his face, and if it weren't for all the volleyballs he took to the face, Kageyama would be more concerned.

 

Hinata sits up, sitting cross legged on the floor. He frowns when the other boy snorts, "Dumbass."

 

"Help me up," Hinata grumbles, sticking out his hand.

 

"I'm not stupid, you're just going to pull me--"

 

Hinata laughs as he reaches up, tugging on Kageyama's shirt so he tumbles to the ground. Kageyama falls onto his knees, hands out in front to catch himself. Hinata stands up, grinning triumphantly.

 

"You know, I wasn't thinking about it until you said it." Hinata offers a hand and Kageyama stares at it dubiously. He takes it with a grumble, allowing Hinata to help pull him up. He doesn't let go of his hand once he's standing.

 

"I recorded the game that was on last night," Kageyama mumbles, staring down at their clasped hands.

 

"Oh! I didn't get to watch it," Hinata sighs, a small frown forming, "Mom made me do homework."

 

Kageyama snorts, shaking his head, "Good for you. You've got to maintain your grades to stay on the team."

 

Hinata grumbles, staring up at Kageyama, "Like you're any better!"

 

"I'm passing my classes!" Kageyama argues, not realizing Hinata's face is a little closer than it was a second ago.

 

"Barely," Hinata says, though his retort has little bite. He's on his toes, the curls of his hair brush Kageyama's nose.

 

"Probably by more than you," Kageyama mumbles, his free hand finding it's way to the space between Hinata's shoulder blades.  Hinata hums when Kageyama splays his palm flat, pushing Hinata slightly into himself.

 

"No, I'm definitely passing by more." Hinata's breath is warm and Kageyama can feel it against his cheeks.

 

"Doubtful." Kageyama says, letting out a quiet hum when Hinata's hand rests on his shoulder.

 

"Not..doubtful." Hinata mumbles, smiling when Kageyama chuckles at his lame reply.

 

"Can I kiss you?" Hinata asks. The question leaves his lips almost silently, and Kageyama closes the gap between them in response.

 

They let go of each other's hands, Hinata's going up to wrap around Kageyama's neck. Kageyama's lowers, interlocking with the other behind Hinata's back.

 

Hinata thinks kissing Kageyama is a lot like volleyball. It's thrilling, his heart is racing, but he still feels at peace. It's the same feeling when Kageyama tosses and Hinata swings his arm, wildly but with aim, and the ball slams into the court. The way his palm stings pleasantly and Kageyama grins at him; It feels so natural and Hinata loves it.

 

When they break apart, Kageyama's eyes are half lidded, his fringe almost covering the blue of them. He has a lazy smile on his face, and Hinata feels his heart thud. He's a little happy Kageyama doesn't always smile like that, because he doubts his heart could take it.

 

"I love you," Hinata says, more calmly than he feels. The words roll off his tongue easily, naturally. Kageyama's eyes widen slightly, and the smile stays.

 

"I," Kageyama's cheeks are pink, and so are the tips of his ears. Hinata thinks the ease at which Kageyama gets embarrassed it's absolutely adorable. "I love you, too."

 

Hinata grins, pulling himself up to plant one more sloppy kiss on Kageyama's lips.

 

"Wanna watch the game?" Hinata asks, humming as he lowers his arms from around Kageyama's neck.

 

"Yeah," Kageyama mumbles, taking one of Hinata's hands in his, "Yeah."

 

"Why don't you set it up? I'll grab the tea and biscuits." Hinata offers, smiling.

 

"Okay," Kageyama lets go of Hinata's hand reluctantly.

 

Hinata laughs, skipping to the kitchen to get the tea. He stops when he sees a framed photo on the dining table; he remembers it wasn't there last time he was here. He walks towards it and picks it up, smiling wildly at the picture.

 

A small Kageyama is staring into the camera, his eyes wide. His arms are reaching towards whoever is taking the photo, although Hinata can tell it isn't Kageyama's mom. She's the one holding him, eyes bright as she laughs, trying to keep the impatient boy in her arms. Hinata wonders what drove Kageyama's mom put this picture here, but then he realizes how they look  _ happy _ . Not just Kageyama's mother, but Kageyama. Even as a child, Kageyama seems to he expressionless, but Hinata sees the light in his eyes, the slight turn of his mouth as his tiny arms reach out. It's the kind of innocent happiness that Hinata hates Kindaichi for taking away, the kind of happiness Hinata is determined to get back.

 

"Hinata?"

 

Hinata snaps out his thoughts when he hears Kageyama calling him, "One sec!"

 

He glances at the photo one more time, smiling. He's happy that Kageyama's mom is trying, and realizes that all he really wants is for Kageyama to be happy like that again.

 

When he returns to the living room, Kageyama has the game setup. Hinata sets the tea and biscuits down on the coffee table before quickly settling down on the couch next to Kageyama.

 

"You sleeping over?" Kageyama asks, haphazardly tossing a blanket over the two of them.

 

"I have all my school stuff with me," Hinata snuggles into Kageyama's side, smiling when the boy leans in instead of fidgeting at the contact.

 

"We can order takeout." Kageyama says, lazily running a hand through Hinata's hair.

 

Hinata hums, "What time is morning practice?"

 

"Six thirty."

 

Hinata groans, "Really?"

 

Kageyama snorts, "Yes, really."

 

Hinata sighs, grumbling. "Are you okay to come to practice?"

 

Kageyama nods, "I'm coming. I'm sure the team wants an explanation, too."

 

Hinata smiles, finding Kageyama's hand under the blanket and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 

"Suga-san won't let you overdo anything. Neither will I." Hinata tells him, eyes narrowed.

 

"I know." Kageyama sighs, turning his head to the side and nuzzling Hinata's hair. Hinata's a little surprised at the movement, but he just hums with content.

 

"Thank you, Shouyou." Kageyama mumbles, bringing his hand up, knuckles grazing Hinata's cheekbones.

 

Hinata swallows nervously. His name sounded so lovely when Kageyama said it.

 

Hinata turns to meet Kageyama's eyes, his heart racing at the softness in them. "You don't have me to thank for anything."

 

Kageyama frowns, shaking his head, "I do. There's no reason for you to put up with--"

 

"Oh my god, you're so stupid." Hinata groans, but smiles nonetheless, "I love you. I love you, I love you, I freaking love you! I want the best for you!"

 

Kageyama stares wide eyed at the confession and Hinata is suddenly very embarrassed.

 

"So, um, there really is nothing to thank me for." Hinata mumbles, reaching his hand up to close over Kageyama's. "I, I just love you."

 

The earnest behind Hinata's words make Kageyama's heart thrum, he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. He leans forward without realizing it, kissing Hinata sloppily.

 

The kiss lasts longer than before, and Hinata finds himself short of breath when they pull apart. Hinata's lips are a dark pink and Kageyama leans in again. Hinata hums against Kageyama's lips, the slight reverberation makes Kageyama sigh, opening his mouth slightly. Kageyama can feel Hinata's grin against his, the shorter boy shifts so he straddles Kageyama and leans in, his tongue brushing the roof of Kageyama's mouth. Kageyama lets out a low groan at the feeling, and Hinata suddenly pulls back, short of breath as he wipes away the saliva on his mouth with his sleeve. Kageyama thinks it's way hotter than it actually is.

 

"Nngh?" Kageyama blinks with confusion, the feeling of Hinata still clouding his senses.

 

"Is this--is this okay?" Hinata says breathily, arms wrapped around Kageyama's shoulders. The last thing he wants is for Kageyama to do something he'll regret.

 

"Yes," Kageyama states, wrapping an arm around Hinata's waist, "Yes, it's okay."

 

"Okay," Hinata grins, leaning forward so their foreheads touch, "Good."

 

Even with the consent, Hinata goes slow. He kisses the skin of Kageyama's neck, laughing as he blows a raspberry against it. Kageyama huffs, the hand he has in Hinata's hair makes a fist when Hinata bites down gently. Everything about Hinata is so overwhelming warm; His breath, his lips, his scent, his heart, his entire being is  _ warm _ .  Kageyama's heart is beating so loud he's certain Hinata can hear it.

 

Kageyama slips a hand up Hinata's shirt, humming at the warmth his body radiates. He wanted to get close, closer, as close as he possibly could to this embodiment of the sun.

 

Hinata seems to feel the same, because soon Kageyama is laying back on the couch, his shirt tossed somewhere on the floor. Kageyama whines, pulling at Hinata's own shirt, and the boy laughs, quickly taking it off. Kageyama's hands roam the expanse of pale skin, dotted here and there with freckles. Hinata smiles into Kageyama's neck, reaching up to connect his lips to Kageyama's.

 

Hinata's hand brushes the few bruises that are scattered over Kageyama's chest, placing a kiss over each of them. It makes him angry; Kageyama was anything but fragile, Kageyama was strong and steady, but these marks made him seem like something less.

 

Kageyama's heart aches at the tenderness Hinata has; His amber eyes look at him so warmly, and God damn, he was so beautiful.

 

Hinata comes up again to kiss Kageyama, "I love you, like, a whole lot."

 

Kageyama smiles, and his eyes light up with a warmth that Hinata thinks they should always have.

 

"Me too." Kageyama's fingers brush away the hair that falls into Hinata's eyes. "I love you a whole lot."

 

///

 

"Kageyama! Wake up! We're late!"

 

Kageyama blinks his eyes open blearily, sighing. "Let me sleep..."

 

Hinata groans, shoving the boy awake, "Put! On! Your! Clothes!"

 

Kageyama sits up, glaring at the boy in front of him. Hinata stands, half dressed, his arms crossed, foot impatiently tapping on the floor.

 

"You're not wearing pants." Kageyama points out, yawning.

 

"We're going to be late to practice!" Hinata waves his phone in the air, "It's already seven!"

 

"We're already late." Kageyama states, frowning.

 

"Okay, okay, let's, let's stay calm. I, I need pants." Hinata glances around the living room, eyes briefly landing on the tea that's long gone cold and the bag of biscuits.

 

"Your stuff's right there," Kageyama points to a small bag on the couch next to them.

 

"I'm going to get dressed! You should too!" Hinata grabs his bag before rushing to the bathroom.

 

Kageyama rolls his eyes, wrapping himself in a blanket before standing. He makes his way to his room, getting dressed slowly. By the time he returns to the main room, Hinata's all ready. He hands Kageyama a piece of bread, "Let's go!!"

 

Kageyama puts his shoes on and grabs his bag, shuffling out the door.

 

"I can't believe we fell asleep on the couch," Hinata groans as they walk, stretching his arms as he yawns. His shirt rides up and Kageyama stares at the expanse of pale skin.

 

Hinata takes out his phone, "I'll text Suga-san."

 

Kageyama hums, taking a bite of the bread Hinata had given him. He stares at Hinata's hand as it swings at his side. Kageyama stares at his own before reaching out and taking Hinata's hand. The shorter boy lets out a quiet yelp. He stares at Kageyama and then at their hands, and grins.

 

"Your hand is sweaty." Hinata hums, smiling as their fingers intertwine.

 

"So is yours." Kageyama mumbles, bumping his shoulder against Hinata's.

 

Hinata laughs, giving Kageyama's hand a small squeeze, "Yeah, okaay."

 

Walking to school from Kageyama's house takes about as long as biking to school from Hinata's does, and by the time they enter the gym, it's half past seven.

 

Sugawara sees them entering and shares a look with Daichi, who clears his throat.

 

"Practice is over! Get showered and dressed."

 

A chorus of "Okay, captain"s echoes through the room. Tanaka and Nishinoya glances at the two first years who have just entered but Sugawara shoos them away.

 

"Why did you do that? We wanted to practice," Hinata whines, crossing his arms.

 

"We know, we know." Sugawara smiles, ruffling Hinata's hair. "It's just, the team..."

 

"They're worried. We didn't answer any of their questions because it's not our place to do so." Daichi fills in for Sugawara, nodding at the two first years.

 

"Practice has been weird without our wild duo." Sugawara chuckles, "And we wouldn't be able to jump into practice right away."

 

Hinata nods, frowning. "Okay..."

 

"I can tell them." Kageyama states, staring at his sneakers.

 

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." Daichi places a hand on Kageyama's shoulder reassuringly.

 

"I do," Kageyama mumbles, "I want to."

 

Daichi nods, "Okay."

 

"SHOUYOU!!"

 

Hinata lets out a huff of air when Nishinoya jumps onto his back, "You're late."

 

Tanaka comes up next to Kageyama, hands on his hips as he puffs up his chest, "Skipping practice, hmmmm?"

 

Asahi pulls Nishinoya off Hinata, apologizing profusely.

 

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi appear, the blonde looking on with apparent indifference. Yamaguchi's eyes are full of concern.

 

Hinata takes Kageyama's hand in his, giving it a small squeeze.

 

"I'm sorry for making you worry." Kageyama murmurs, his grip on Hinata's tightening.

 

"Who said we were worried?"

 

"Shut up, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi gives Kageyama an apologetic glance.

 

"It's okay, Kageyama." Asahi smiles, kind brown eyes full of support.

 

"Kindaichi, he, uhm," Kageyama clears his throat, shaking his head of any intrusive thoughts, "In Junior High, he was...terrible. Much worse than he is now. And, I guess, when he saw me now, he felt like he...lost."

 

He looks at Sugawara who looks at him encouragingly, nodding for him to continue.

 

"I...I was also terrible in Junior High. But," Kageyama glances at his team, and even Tsukishima seems to be giving him support, and God, saying  _ his team _ felt good, "I'm not the same, I hope. He, he didn't like that. He's upset I changed, I think he's upset he couldn't be the one to change me." Kageyama thinks about saying 'You're the ones who changed me', but can't bring himself to. "But," Kageyama thinks back to the kiss Kindaichi gave him, the hopeless expression he wore, "I don't think he'll be bothering me again."

 

"The little--" Nishinoya hisses, cracking his knuckles, "I'll break his back."

 

"Let's do it, Noya-san. I'll hold him down," Tanaka's voice is full of venom and Kageyama is full of a strange sense of love.

 

"He's been suspended." Hinata tells them, running his thumb over Kageyama's knuckles. "I went to Aoba Jousai."

 

Kageyama's eyes widen at this, "You--"

 

Hinata shakes his head at Kageyama's protest, "It'll be okay. We'll be okay. You'll be okay."

 

Sugawara nods, looking around at the team, "We're here with you."

 

"Nothing will happen. We'll make sure of it." Daichi smiles, nodding.

 

"Yeah! We'll beat his ass!" Tanaka and Nishinoya cheer in unison. Daichi glares at them, but his smile doesn't falter.

 

"We'll keep you safe." Asahi smiles at Kageyama.

 

"Yeah, we're here for you, Kageyama-kun." Yamaguchi grins, and Tsukishima nods, eyes cast off to the side.

 

"What he said."

 

Kageyama feels tears prickling at his eyes but he bites them back, "T-thank you."

 

Hinata grins, "We're all here for you, Kageyama!"

 

Kageyama glances up at his team,  _ his team _ , and feels a sense of belonging he's felt no where else. All the pieces seemed to fit here, and everything that once fell apart, fell back into place. Those things didn't matter anymore, because he had them, and he was going to be okay.

 

Hinata's gives his hand another squeeze and he smiles up at him.

 

"Wanna play a bit?" Sugawara tosses a ball at Kageyama who catches it with ease.

 

Before Kageyama can answer, Hinata is already running across the gym, yelling "Toss to me!"

 

Kageyama doesn't hesitate to follow, stepping into place, smiling as the ball flies off his fingers. He sees Hinata in the air, a grin on his face as his arm swings, slamming the ball into the ground.

 

"Nice hit!" Kageyama can hear his teammates call.

 

Hinata is staring at him, eyes wide, grin still

plastered on his cheeks.

 

"See, Kageyama!" Hinata smiles, making a fist and pumping the air, "Together, we're unstoppable!"

 

And, Kageyama has to agree.

 

///

 

Tobio Kageyama is fifteen when he meets Shouyou Hinata.

 

He is fifteen when he learns what love really is.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well!!! thank u to everyone whose stuck w this fic and me and my very not good updating schedule!! i feel so cathartic woooh...  
> as always, thanks for reading!!  
> talk to me @ <http://starbunpng.tumblr.com/> :)

**Author's Note:**

> this is just the prologue so next chapter will talk more abt kags and hina and have some cute stuff in it probably !!
> 
> talk to me @ <http://bunnies-html.tumblr.com/>

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Dreamer](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6237067) by [pkmnshippings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pkmnshippings/pseuds/pkmnshippings)
  * [Pain and Suffering](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6586633) by [flightlesscrow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightlesscrow/pseuds/flightlesscrow)




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